- Tina Fey: Earlier tonight, Michael Douglas married Catherine Zeta-Jones at the Plaza Hotel here in New York. The entertainment at the reception was singer Tom Jones. The couple felt he was the perfect choice because like the bride, he is Welsh and like the groom, he is old and creepy.
- Jimmy Fallon: China's state media reported this week that a 37-year-old Chinese man had his damaged esophagus replaced with part of his own colon. Earlier today the man was quoted as saying, "Does this taste funny to you?"
- Tina Fey: Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris has been all over the news this week. First she set a deadline for the recount, then she was overruled, now she's been stripped of her ability to certify the Florida votes. Katherine Harris hasn't gotten this much attention since spring break '77. Look at her, she looks divorced. She looks like the woman being cheated on in a Mexican soap opera. Katherine, honey, there's another setting on your make-up mirror. It's called "daytime." Check it out.