Saturday Night Live (TV Series)

Martin Short/No Doubt (1996)

Will Ferrell: Various, Alex Trebek, Steve Butabi

Quotes 

• Narrator : And so, Mickey the Dyke was loved and accepted by everyone. Even though as we all know it would just take a real man to turn her around.

• Alex Trebek : [during final Jeopardy]  Mr. Lewis has wandered off somewhere. Let's see if he had anything. Apparently his answer was an outline of half of his hand. And he wagered: The other half of his hand. That's beautiful.

• Alex Trebek : Welcome to Celebrity Jeopardy. We got 3 wonderful celebrities playing for charity. Let's meet them. Sean Connery, Burt Reynolds, and finally, comedy legend Jerry Lewis.

  Jerry Lewis : May I tell you what a joy it is to be here? It's super-duper.

  Alex Trebek : Good luck to all 3 of you. What do you say we take a look at our board. The categories are: celebrities, potpourri, popular music, movies, potent potables, U.S. history, and finally "S" words, which are words that begin with the letter S. Mr. Connery, it's your turn.

  Sean Connery : Uh-- I'll, I'll take movies for 400.

  [Audience laughing] 

  Alex Trebek : The answer is: John Travolta learned how to dance for this 1977 hit movie.

  [Connery rings in his podium] 

  Alex Trebek : Mr. Connery?

  Sean Connery : That would be Jaws.

  Alex Trebek : No. Jaws is incorrect. And please answer in the form of a question.

  [Reynolds rings in] 

  Alex Trebek : Burt Reynolds?

  Burt Reynolds : What is Jaws?

  Alex Trebek : No. That was already guessed.

  [Lewis rings in] 

  Alex Trebek : Mr. Lewis?

  Jerry Lewis : If I remember correctly, Alex, that would be dancing for LADIES, YEAH. I had to go for it.

  Alex Trebek : No. That is incorrect also. The correct answer is what is Saturday Night Fever. Heads up, players. Sean Connery, it's still your board.

  Sean Connery : Uh, I'll take swords for 400.

  Alex Trebek : It's actually not swords. These are words that begin with S. The answer is: Popeye is this sort of man.

  [Reynolds ring in] 

  Alex Trebek : Mr. Reynolds?

  Burt Reynolds : What is Popeye?

  Alex Trebek : No.

  [Connery rings in] 

  Alex Trebek : Mr. Connery, and remember these are words that begin with the letter S, not swords.

  Sean Connery : Seba!

  Alex Trebek : No.

  Sean Connery : He beat a gun with a bloody S.

  Alex Trebek : [Lewis rings in]  Mr. Lewis?

  Jerry Lewis : I got the answer, Alex. They beat the people who run the studios this week.

  Alex Trebek : Times up. I'm sorry, Mr. Lewis, Times up. What is sailor, was the correct response. Tough starts for everyone. All 3 celebrities are 800 dollars down.

  Sean Connery : How the hell am I going to pay you with a bloody 800 dollars!

  Alex Trebek : Please, rest a shirt, Mr. Connery. This is for charity. It's not for your own money. And it is still your board.

  Sean Connery : I'll take movies for 200.

  Alex Trebek : This racing movie with Dom Deluise told us that yes cannonballs can run.

  [no one buzzes in] 

  Alex Trebek : Cannonballs can run. Burt, you might want to guess this.

  [Reynolds buzzes in] 

  Alex Trebek : Burt Reynolds.

  Burt Reynolds : Shakespeare.

  Alex Trebek : No.

  [Lewis rings in] 

  Alex Trebek : Jerry Lewis.

  Jerry Lewis : Cannon ball...

  Alex Trebek : It sounds like you might have the right answer. Did you say cannon?

  Jerry Lewis : Cannon.

  Alex Trebek : Now say balls.

  Jerry Lewis : Balls.

  Alex Trebek : Put them together.

  Jerry Lewis : Cannonball, hiya!

  Alex Trebek : Ok, let's just move on. Burt, would you pick a category?

  Sean Connery : Pick swords.

  Burt Reynolds : Sure, give me swords.

  Alex Trebek : It's S words, it's S words! And for how much, Mr. Reynolds?

  Burt Reynolds : Swords for 48,000.

  Alex Trebek : We're not doing swords!