- Jeff Goldblum: I, I had a great, eh... summer! You know of course, I was in, uh, that movie Jurassic Park.
- [audience applauds]
- Jeff Goldblum: Uh... I don't know.. thank you! and, uh, I guess a lot of you have seen it, because, as of last week, Jurassic Park surpassed, uh.. E.T. to become the highest-grossing movie of all time.
- [more applauce from the audience]
- Jeff Goldblum: Amazing... So,so I guess the guy who made E.T. must be kind of bummed right now.
- Norm MacDonald: You know, uh, I've always been afraid of going to prison, and uh, I was thinking about it the other day and I realized that what scares me most about going to prison isn't the loss of freedom or the, uh, stigma or even the separation from family. For me, the scariest thing about going to prison is, uh... you know, it's the... uh... you know, the uh... the... anal rape.
- Christopher Walken: I don't understand... why you're not calling?
- Todd Bridges: Well, Chris, maybe the audience should know we're not the only members of the Psychic Friends Network.
- Christopher Walken: Todd's right. There are others who can come to your house. Like Rick James... the guy who attacked Monica Seles... and Sean Young. Todd, Crispin, Rick and Sean, and the guy who attacked Monica Seles want to spend time with you at your house but they can't do that unless you tell us where you live. So, please... call now.