- Rashashimi Khadudi Hasumi-imi-humi: [after watching a clip from Madonna's "Open Your Heart" music video] I will give you two million drachma for the dancing woman!
- Sean Penn: Just shut up!
- Rashashimi Khadudi Hasumi-imi-humi: You like horses? I have horses..
- Weekend Update Anchor: And remember, tonight at 2 a.m. set your clock back one hour to 1 a.m. But I warn you, an hour later it'll be 2 a.m. once more and you'll have to do it again and again and again and again... Guess what folks? That's the news and I am outta here.
- Robin Tessler: Now, some snakes can kill you, but not this one.
- Peter Graves: Aha, so this snake is a coward.