- Becky Conner: [just learned that Roseanne's new job is in the mall where Becky hangs out with her friends] My *mother* is going to be there!
- Roseanne Conner: Yeah, it's a kick in the head, ain't it.
- Becky Conner: [shouts] You've ruined my life!
- Roseanne Conner: Well, you don't think I took the job for the money, do ya?
- Darlene Conner: [Becky is deliberately blocking the TV] Becky, I can't see.
- Becky Conner: Oh, I'm sorry Darlene. Am I in your way?
- Darlene Conner: Well, we've got a 19 inch TV, and you've got a 25 inch butt!
- Darlene Conner: [on the phone] Yeah! I'd love to... Friday night? Yeah, I was hoping you'd call... You wanna buy me dinner?... Oh, gee, what's in it for you?... Oh sure I put out, everybody knows that!
- Roseanne Conner: Darlene, what are you doing?
- Darlene Conner: Oh, don't worry Mom, he thinks it's Becky.
- Roseanne Conner: You know, I'm gonna be working the dinner shift, so that means you gotta take over around here.
- Dan Conner: Don't worry, I can handle it.
- Roseanne Conner: Yeah, well, you know, that means that you gotta feed the kids once in a while, you gotta maintain law and order around here, and you have to keep 'em from killin' each other.
- Dan Conner: Better write this down.
- Roseanne Conner: [about leaving her job at the hair salon, and starting one in a restaurant] Well the way I look at it, I'm still working with hair, only now it's in the food.
- Roseanne Conner: [in Rodbell's] Just go have a seat, I'll be right with ya.
- Becky Conner: All right. But do me a favor, and don't come over and act like you're my mother or something, okay?
- Roseanne Conner: So, what... then like, breast-feeding you is out?
- [leaving Becky looking mortified]