Roseanne (TV Series)

Daughters and Other Strangers (1993)

Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner

Photos 

Quotes 

• D.J. : [returning from a party]  I'm home!

  Dan : [on the couch with Roseanne]  Hey, Deej, come here and tell us all about the party.

  D.J. : Thanks for making me go. It was great.

  Roseanne : Yeah? Come here and sit down. Tell us about all the kind of games and fun things you guys did.

  D.J. : [sitting down between them on the couch]  I touched a boob.

  [stunned silence] 

  Dan : Say what?

  D.J. : We played this game, Seven Minutes in Heaven. And I had to go in the closet with Sheila Frye. And we just stood there doing nothing for, like, six minutes.

  Dan : What happened in that last minute, son?

  D.J. : I told you. I touched a boob. She's my girlfriend now. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow night. She likes corn.

  [goes upstairs] 

  Dan : [Roseanne covers her face with her hands, country accent]  Wheeeeewwww doggies, I'm gonna have to have a long talk with that boy.

• Roseanne : [Roseanne and Darlene bury the hatchet]  So, I guess we've finally approached the end of Bitch-Fest '93.

  Darlene : Oh what a time we had!

• David Healy : You can't tell Darlene what to do. She's a big girl!

  Roseanne : [snarls]  Compared to who?

• Roseanne : Talking - it's like yelling, only not as loud.

• Roseanne : [to David, who doesn't want Darlene to leave home]  Yeah, but you know what they say, David. They say, ah, when you really love something you should, you know, make it go away or get rid of it, or whatever.

• Dan : You're acting like a crazed psychopath.

  Roseanne : [snorts]  Well the voices in my head disagree.

• Dan : [on getting married]  I always thought it was the smartest thing I ever did. You obviously don't agree.

  Roseanne : No, I do agree with you, it was the smartest thing *you* ever did, but we're talking about *me* now!

• Roseanne Conner : [about Darlene's fears she'll suck at college]  So you get out there and find out you suck, but you'll be the first Conner to suck *in* college. And you can always come back home, we're not going anywhere, we ain't been anywhere for 20 years.