The Rockford Files (TV Series)

The Italian Bird Fiasco (1976)

Ivor Barry: Cryder

Quotes 

• Jim Rockford : [Rockford is at a restaurant with a Lloyds of London representative discussing his reward for having helped recover stolen diamonds - a case that lead to the breaking of three priceless works of art]  Mr. Cryder, I don't want to seem anxious, but I was wondering about my five percent recovery fee?

  Cryder : Ohhh yes. I called my people at Lloyds, they agreed.

  Jim Rockford : [smiling]  Five percent, a million dollars worth of jewellery, that's fifty thousand dollars isn't it?

  Cryder : Yes... Unfortunately each of the cormorants was insured for fifteen thousand making a total of forty-five thousand.

  Jim Rockford : Well, what has one got to do with the other?

  Cryder : Well they feel that since you were hired to protect them, and since all three were destroyed, that you should... bear the loss...

  Jim Rockford : That's preposterous!

  Cryder : Unfortunately that is how they... feel. So, ah, forty-five thousand from fifty thousand leaves five thousand...

  Jim Rockford : [looking rather peeved]  Well I didn't break the damn things!

  Cryder : ...I've been doing some perliminary figuring... Now from the five thousand there's of course, ah, English inheritance and English income taxes

  [he starts subtracting on a pad of paper] 

  Cryder : ... ah yes, we will have to inform your IRS

  [he chuckles] 

  Cryder : and there's the rate of exchange to consider and, oh yes, then there's...

  Jim Rockford : One minute, just one minute.

  Cryder : Yes?

  Jim Rockford : Do you think there's going to be enough for me to pick up this tab?

  Cryder : I really don't know, Mr. Rockford, that depends... Do you intend to keep on drinking?