Red Dwarf (TV Series)

Back to Reality (1992)

Danny John-Jules: Cat

Photos 

Quotes 

• The Cat : What the hell happened to my teeth? I could open beer bottles with my overbite!

• The Cat : Don't fish swim south for the winter?

  Kryten : No, that's birds. sir.

  The Cat : Birds swim south for the winter? How do they breathe?

• The Cat : No, no! I don't want to be Duane Dibbley!

• The Cat : We could all put our heads together and the bullet could go down the line!

• [a giant squid is approaching Starbug] 

  Lister : It's got three alternatives - it thinks we're either a threat, food or mate. It's either gonna kill us, eat us or hump us. Either we try to persuade it that we're not *that* kind of oceanic salvage vessel, or we scarper pronto.

  The Cat : And be diddled by a squid on a first date? Think of how I would be in the morning!

• Duane Dibbley : So this is really me? A no-style gimbo with teeth the Druids could use as a place of worship?

• Lister : I'm not Lister then? I'm not me, am I?

  Kryten : None of us are who we thought we were, sir. This is going to take some getting used to.

  Rimmer : I'm not Rimmer, then?

  Kryten : No.

  Rimmer : I'm not a hologram. I'm not Rimmer.

  The Cat : Well, if we're not who we thought we were, who the hell are we?

  Lister : Some kind of sad acts who want to spend four years playing a computer game. Either running away from God knows what, or had nothing worth living for in the first place.

• Lister : Why would a haddock kill itself?... Why am I even asking that question?

  The Cat : Hold it - hang five guys, I'm gettin' somethin'. Now, he committed suicide, he committed suicide, he committed suicide and the fish committed suicide - there's some kind of link here that I can't quite put my finger on...

• Cop : [to Sebastian-Lister]  Come out of the shadows, Voter.

  Sebastian Doyle : What's the beef? Did she steal your lunch box?

  Cop : M... mm... many apologies, Voter Colonel.

  Sebastian Doyle : You know me?

  Cop : Of course, Voter Colonel.

  Sebastian Doyle : Who am I?

  Cop : You are Colonel Sebastian Doyle, Section Chief of CGI, Head of the Ministry of Alteration.

  Sebastian Doyle : Remind me a little: what do we do at the Ministry of Alteration?

  Cop : You... change people, Sir.

  Sebastian Doyle : In what way?

  Cop : You change them from being alive people, to being dead people. To purify Democracy.

  Billy Doyle : Purify?

  Cop : [proudly]  No one has done more to purge the ballot boxes than the Voter Colonel.

  Duane Dibbley : So why has he been away for 4 years then?

  Cop : Excuse me, Voter Colonel, but is this some sort of test?

  Sebastian Doyle : Answer him.

  Cop : The rumour was that you had grown weary of your glorious duties and had gone away in secret to renew yourself.