Porridge (TV Series)

The Hustler (1974)

Fulton Mackay: Mr. Mackay

Quotes 

• Mr. Mackay : [Mackay shouts from outside]  Ives!

  Norman Stanley Fletcher : [Ives has had an egg crushed in his right hand]  What are you going to do? Shake hands with him, go on.

  [Ives walks out] 

  Norman Stanley Fletcher : [Fletch carries on talking to himself]  What a loser. Poor old Ives, what a loser. You know, if Liz Taylor had triplets, and he was one, he'd be the one in the middle, on the bottle.

  Norman Stanley Fletcher : [Fletch addresses the chicken]  There you are, darling. You ain't a loser. You'd have won if I hadn't cut off your access.

  [Fletch removes paper from the hatch and retrieves an egg] 

  Norman Stanley Fletcher : Look at that, it's a beautiful one. How do you get them so egg-shaped?

  Norman Stanley Fletcher : Hang on a minute. Now then, girls. This is what's known as a perk of the job.

• Mackay : What have you got there, Fletcher?

  Fletch : [sotto voce]  Crown jewels...

  [out loud] 

  Fletch : Chicken feed!

  Mackay : Empty it.

  Fletch : It'll make a terrible mess, Mr Mackay!

  Mackay : Empty it!

  [Fletch empties the bag, which contains nothing but chicken feed] 

  Mackay : All right Fletcher, just don't let me catch you thieving!

  Fletch : I won't, Mr Mackay.

  Mackay : You won't what?

  Fletch : I won't let you catch me, Mr Mackay!