Porridge (TV Series)
The Hustler (1974)
Richard Beckinsale: Lennie Godber
Quotes
-
Norman Stanley Fletcher : A game of chance.
Lennie Godber : How do you mean?
Norman Stanley Fletcher : For Gawd's sake, Godber, a flutter, a gamble.
Lennie Godber : Gambling ain't allowed.
Norman Stanley Fletcher : 'Course it flamin' ain't, that's why we do it!
Lennie Godber : Why do you need Grout's permission?
Norman Stanley Fletcher : Godber, you've been here a week. Ain't you learnt anything? Officially, this hotel is run by a governor appointed by the Home Office, name of Mr Venables, right? But we know different. We know that genial Harry Grout could bring the place to a standstill.
Lennie Godber : Do you play for big stakes?
Norman Stanley Fletcher : If we can nick any out of the meat safe. No, we play for anything negotiable, snout, mostly. Whatever it is, it won't be chicken-feed. Pity, I've got a lot of that. Blokes here are always betting. The excitement counters the misery of their monotonous existence.
Lennie Godber : You what?
Norman Stanley Fletcher : Well, it's not winning or losing, it's doing it under the screws' noses, surreptitious, like.
Lennie Godber : Blokes by me bet on how many bricks are in the cell.
Norman Stanley Fletcher : That's common.
Lennie Godber : I can't think. It drives me mad, listening to their recounts. "341, 342..."
Norman Stanley Fletcher : Blokes in stir bet on anything - two flies crawling up a wall, the numbers of the hymns in the chapel, two flies crawling down a wall.
-
Norman Stanley Fletcher : Didn't you notice the tension?
Lennie Godber : Yeah, but I thought it was because of the female social worker.
Norman Stanley Fletcher : What, gruesome Glenda, her with the bicycle and the brogues?
Norman Stanley Fletcher : You couldn't have an erotic fantasy about her.
Lennie Godber : Nifty Small's in love with her.
Norman Stanley Fletcher : Is he?
Lennie Godber : He stole her bicycle saddle.
Norman Stanley Fletcher : I bet the ride back was a bit painful for her.
-
Norman Stanley Fletcher : He won't have that long though, they'll soon find that.
Lennie Godber : Under his pillow? I bet they won't.
Norman Stanley Fletcher : You're on. How much? 2 fags?
Lennie Godber : Eh, no, I'm not gambling, my mum said gambling would get me into trouble.
Norman Stanley Fletcher : Oh, did she? It may have escaped your notice, son, but you're in prison ain't ya. You're mum was too late, you ARE in trouble ain't ya.
Lennie Godber : Well, nevertheless, I ain't gambling. I ain't standing there watching flies go up and down the wall or counting bricks. Gambling is one thing I'm going to resist inside.
Norman Stanley Fletcher : I bet you can't.
Lennie Godber : Oh, yes, I can.
Norman Stanley Fletcher : Bet you some soap you can't.
Lennie Godber : Bet I can.
Norman Stanley Fletcher : See, you bet you wouldn't bet, so you lost your bet, that's a bar of soap you owe me. Work that one out.