Photos
Quotes
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Nancy : Oh, Jez, I was wondering if you could sleep on the couch tonight. I'm on my way to see Metallica at Wembley Arena and I've taken a couple of E's so I'll gonna start feeling pretty horny soon, and if I meet somebody, which, um, you know, I probably will, we'll wanna come back and bone. So, I'll need the bed. Later.
Jeremy Usborne : [meekly] See you later.
Nancy : Oh, by the way, we need milk. Later, Mark.
Mark Corrigan : Uh, OK, later.
[she leaves]
Mark Corrigan : Metallica? Milk? Is everything all right?
Jeremy Usborne : [sheepishly] I had an affair with Toni by mistake and Nancy found out because I told her.
Mark Corrigan : Why?
Jeremy Usborne : Because of stupid honesty. And now we're going to stay married but apparentely our relationship is nothing more than a husk.
Mark Corrigan : A husk? That doesn't sound good.
Jeremy Usborne : Do you think maybe, if I plead and plead and plead, she'll forget all about it and things will go back to like before?
Mark Corrigan : Honestly?
Jeremy Usborne : Quite honestly, not brutally honestly.
Mark Corrigan : Then... yeah, absolutely.
Jeremy Usborne : Cheers, mate.
Mark Corrigan : No problem, mate.
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Nancy : Jez, I've got a biggie to ask you. Would you consider marrying me?
Jeremy Usborne : Yes!
Nancy : Obviously it wouldn't be a real wedding.
Jeremy Usborne : No? Oh right. Well, in that case... yes!
Nancy : See, it's just my visa's run out and the Home Office called. I mean, I know a couple of gay guys who'd be up for it but...
Jeremy Usborne : Oh Nancy, don't marry those gays. Marry me.
Nancy : Honey, you understand this would just be an administrative procedure, right?
Jeremy Usborne : Exactly. The happiest administrative procedure of our lives!
