Peep Show (TV Series)

University Challenge (2004)

Robert Webb: Jeremy Usborne

Photos 

Quotes 

• Super Hans : [hands Jeremy a bar of chocolate after leaving a shop]  There you go, free munchies.

  Jeremy Usborne : Did you just nick this?

  Super Hans : 'Course I did. They should be paying me to eat this shit.

  Jeremy Usborne : Wow, free choco. Mmm, tasty.

  Super Hans : The secret ingredient is crime.

• Jeremy Usborne : Oh, this is all bollocks, Mark. You don't belong here with the pointy-heads. Tell them. Go on, tell them.

  Mark Corrigan : Tell them what? That I'm a hard working mature student?

  Jeremy Usborne : He's not a mature student, he's been a Loan Manager for the last five years, he lives with me and he eats ready-meals, and we play "Guess the Revels" and we watch Men in Black in front of our massive telly and we have a fucking good time.

  Professor MacLeish : Loan Manager?

  Mark Corrigan : I, I manage my... student loan. I manage... on it.

• Jeremy Usborne : I can't believe we're going back to Dartie! There's no quim likes to party...

  Mark Corrigan : Like the quim down in the Dartie. Yeah, those were the days. Did you ever appeal about your degree mark?

  Jeremy Usborne : Who cares about that shit? I didn't go to university to get a degree.

  Mark Corrigan : No, of course. Anyway, no use regretting the past, I wish I'd done Ancient History, but...

  Jeremy Usborne : I thought you did do Ancient History.

  Mark Corrigan : I did Business Studies, Jeremy, for three years. And I talked to you about it daily.

  Jeremy Usborne : Right.

  [voiceover] 

  Jeremy Usborne : I could tell him that's all ancient history now. He probably wouldn't like that joke.

  [to Mark] 

  Jeremy Usborne : Oh well, that's all ancient history now.

  [Mark isn't amused] 

• Jeremy Usborne : Stealing things just makes everything very cheap. Plus, you know how I feel about capitalism.

  Mark Corrigan : Yes, confused!

• Jeremy Usborne : So, you all look pretty happy being students. Well, I've got news for you, the shit-storm is coming. That's the real world out there and let me tell you, baby, it is fucked.

  Professor MacLeish : Is that what Dr Chomsky and Michael Moore have been telling you, in lieu of a degree?