Peep Show (TV Series)

University Challenge (2004)

David Mitchell: Mark Corrigan

Quotes 

• Mark Corrigan : Right now, April's probably getting chatted up by some student who's also worked out she's got the magical combo of beauty and low self-esteem!

• Jeremy Usborne : Oh, this is all bollocks, Mark. You don't belong here with the pointy-heads. Tell them. Go on, tell them.

  Mark Corrigan : Tell them what? That I'm a hard working mature student?

  Jeremy Usborne : He's not a mature student, he's been a Loan Manager for the last five years, he lives with me and he eats ready-meals, and we play "Guess the Revels" and we watch Men in Black in front of our massive telly and we have a fucking good time.

  Professor MacLeish : Loan Manager?

  Mark Corrigan : I, I manage my... student loan. I manage... on it.

• Mark Corrigan : I'm looking for someone who helped me... er, April. I'm a friend and...

  Shoe Shop Manager : You're a friend of April's?

  Mark Corrigan : Yeah, what is this, the third degree?

  Shoe Shop Manager : No, it's just, obviously April's at university now.

  Mark Corrigan : Ah, of course, of course she is. We were talking about that last time I saw her. OK, thanks.

  [voiceover] 

  Mark Corrigan : Do a Columbo. Do a Columbo.

  [as Mark is leaving he stops and slowly turns around, wagging his finger, copying Columbo's "Just one more thing" trick] 

  Mark Corrigan : Just... remind me. Which university was it, April's gone to again?

  Shoe Shop Manager : Dartmouth.

  Mark Corrigan : Dartmouth. Of course, Dartmouth. Thanks.

  [voiceover] 

  Mark Corrigan : Good old Columbo. Just the one technique of course, but still shits on Quincy.

• Jeremy Usborne : I can't believe we're going back to Dartie! There's no quim likes to party...

  Mark Corrigan : Like the quim down in the Dartie. Yeah, those were the days. Did you ever appeal about your degree mark?

  Jeremy Usborne : Who cares about that shit? I didn't go to university to get a degree.

  Mark Corrigan : No, of course. Anyway, no use regretting the past, I wish I'd done Ancient History, but...

  Jeremy Usborne : I thought you did do Ancient History.

  Mark Corrigan : I did Business Studies, Jeremy, for three years. And I talked to you about it daily.

  Jeremy Usborne : Right.

  [voiceover] 

  Jeremy Usborne : I could tell him that's all ancient history now. He probably wouldn't like that joke.

  [to Mark] 

  Jeremy Usborne : Oh well, that's all ancient history now.

  [Mark isn't amused] 

• Jeremy Usborne : Stealing things just makes everything very cheap. Plus, you know how I feel about capitalism.

  Mark Corrigan : Yes, confused!

• Mark Corrigan : Love your room.

  April : Thanks. It's your basic undergraduate lunge for individuality.

  [Nods to a "Betty Blue" poster] 

  April : I've not even seen Betty Blue. Have you?

  Mark Corrigan : Oh yeah. Great sex-and-suicide flick, turned a whole generation of men onto girls with mental illness.