One Foot in the Grave (TV Series)

The Return of the Speckled Band (1990)

Willie Ross: Dustman

Quotes 

• [after the dustman spots a python slithering up Victor's stairs] 

  Dustman : [in a strong Geordie accent]  You sly old bugga you! You're not tellin' me you're keeping snakes like that in 'ea!

  Victor Meldrew : Y-y yes... well, thank you very much for the...

  Dustman : When I saw that goin' up the stairs I told the sly old bugga! I keep them meself ya kna! Oh yeah I got seven ya kna, I've fouwa tanks, fouwa tanks. I've got two upstairs and two doonstairs. I've got three wattlesnakes, two whipsnakes, a boomslang-a, a rear fang, an un, an un, listen to this! A rhombic night adder.

  Victor Meldrew : [not taking in a word he's saying]  I see.

  Dustman : And by the luck of it, mate, it's a canny little sample an all, I'll tell ya. But if I was yu, I'd-a put it back in the tank ya kna, shoulda put it back in the tank. Cause they like to get in the hoos, ya kna! They wander aboot! They gaw all over the place if you let them! Ya kna what I mean?