The Office (TV Series)
Training (2001)
Ricky Gervais: David Brent
Photos
Quotes
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David Brent : I'd like to make a complaint please
Rowan : Don't care
David Brent : Well I am staying at the hotel...
Rowan : Don't care, it's not my shift
David Brent : Well you're an ambassador for the hotel...
Rowan : I don't care
David Brent : I think you'll care when I tell you what the complaint is...
Rowan : I don't ca...
David Brent : I think there's been a rape up there.
David Brent : ...I got his attention. Get their attention.
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Rowan : Gareth, quick trust exercise, ultimate fantasy?
Gareth : Hmm?
David Brent : We're just doing the ultimate fantasy, we're all doing it.
Gareth : Two lesbians probably, sisters. I'm just watching.
Rowan : OK. Erm. Tim? Do you have one?
Tim : I'd never thought I'd say this, but can I hear more from Gareth please?
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[David is singing a song he wrote]
David Brent : [singing] Little while later I see a cowboy crying, I said, "Hey buddy, what can I do?" He says, "I lived a good life, had about a thousand women." I said "Why the tears?", he says "'cause none of them was you."
Tim : What, you?
David Brent : No, he's looking at a photograph.
Tim : Of you?
David Brent : No, of his girlfriend. The video would have shown it.
Tim : Sorry. It just sounds a bit gay.
David Brent : It's not gay!
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Rowan : Hello, I'd wish to make a complaint.
David Brent : Not interested.
Rowan : My room is an absolute disgrace, the bathroom doesn't appear to have been cleaned.
David Brent : What room are you in?
Rowan : 362
David Brent : There is no 362 in this hotel... sometimes the complaints will be false.
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David Brent : We're both good in our own fields. I'm sure Texas couldn't run and manage a successful paper merchants. I couldn't do what-, well, I could do what they do, and I think they knew that, even back then. Probably what spurred them on.
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Rowan : I'm gonna play a very bad hotel manager who just doesn't care, and...
David Brent : Sorry, if it's a Basil Fawlty type character, well, er, maybe I should do it, just for the comedy.
Rowan : Let me play it, just to kick things off.
David Brent : Yeah, well I'll probably bring something to this role anyway.
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Gareth : So, can you set fire to a postage stamp?
David Brent : No. In fact, a postage stamp is legal tender. A busdriver would have to accept that as currency.
Gareth : Yeah, that would happen.
David Brent : Well if he doesn't, report him.
Gareth : Yeah, I'll report him when I'm walking home.
Gareth : You can taxi, if you've got enough stamps.
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[Brent believes anything with the Queen's image should be currency]
David Brent : In fact, a postage stamp is legal tender. A bus driver would have to accept that as currency.
Tim : Yeah, that'd happen.
Gareth : Well, if he doesn't, report him.
Tim : Yeah, I'll report him while I'm walking home.
Gareth : Get a taxi, if you've got enough stamps.
Dawn : Or cash 'em in at the Post Office.
David Brent : Shouldn't have to. Shouldn't have to.