- Summer: He's kissing another girl.
- Marissa: [shocked] No.
- Summer: Yes, right infront'a me on the phone. I can't believe this. I have been crying actual tears over that *ass* and he's kissing randoms!
- Marissa: Okay, you know what? We're gonna have a girls night out, okay? Theresa's coming over and we can do whatever you want.
- Summer: Really? Cause all I wanna do right now is go to Las Vegas and kick Cohen's ass.
- Julie: I don't want Chippendales! I want strippers! Full on, full frontal, male strippers. Preferably at a place that serves bottomless margaritas.
- Kirsten: Uh-huh. Or I could invite the girls over, and I could throw you a lovely catered bachelorette cocktail party.
- Julie: With strippers.
- Kirsten: Without strippers! Julie, we are smart sophisticated women. We don't need strange naked men dancing in front of us to be entertained.
- Julie: [pauses] I'm not as smart as you. Plus, the boys are getting strippers.
- Kirsten: The boys are not getting strippers!
- Julie: Kirsten, it's Las Vegas. You get strippers as a side with your entrée. Of course they're getting strippers! Why else would Sandy go to Vegas with Caleb?
- Kirsten: Strippers, huh?
- Julie: Uh-huh. Let's get all the Newpsies into limos, drive to LA, have dinner on Sunset, then head south to Mantopia. Or The Stud Farm.
- Kirsten: You've done your research.
- Julie: Todd in accounting. Who also told me about this place called The Petting Zoo. It's not exactly legal, but...
- Kirsten: Julie, I am not going to a place called The Petting Zoo. You don't know where the pets have been.
- Julie: Just one little stripper. Who never hurt anyone. Who's just trying to make his way in the world... naked.
- Theresa Diaz: I'm probably going to be out of here in a couple of days. I can't impose on Seth's parents forever.
- Seth Cohen: Sure you can. I intend to.
- Summer: [asking for the Cohens' room number at the Hard Rock Hotel] The name is Cohen. C-O-H-E-N. I think that's how you spell it.
- Seth Cohen: I do love the Vegas.
- Seth Cohen: I didn't know you loved the Vegas dad.
- Sandy Cohen: Haha I love the Vegas I love the Vegas.
- Jimmy Cooper: Are you kidding the man bailed us out took Julie off my hands. I'll buy him his first lap dance, hell I'll give him one myself.
- Summer: Get away from him whore!
- Seth Cohen: Woah woah hey hey she's not a whore okay she goes to UNLV.
- Summer: Oh I'm sorry skank!
- Seth Cohen: I hate the Vegas. My entire life, I've never even seen a prostitute, and now I have four of them taking advantage of me in my hotel room. And not in a nice way.
- Summer: Well, way to go, whoreboy.
- Seth Cohen: Thanks!
- Ryan Atwood: Alright, alright. Summer, how much money you got?
- Summer: I'm not giving you my money. I'm not the one that was worked on.
- Seth Cohen: Hey, I wasn't worked on, OK? I was entrapped. Besides, this is your fault anyways, you're the one who broke up with me!
- Summer: Oh, so you hire yourself a call-girl?
- Seth Cohen: What, your dad wouldn't approve?
- Summer: This has nothing to do with my dad!
- Seth Cohen: You're absolutely right, it doesn't!
- Summer: OK, so maybe I overreacted a little.
- Seth Cohen: Yeah, maybe a little, I don't know.
- Summer: Well, maybe if you didn't try so hard with him... .
- Seth Cohen: I only did that because I knew that it was important to you!
- Summer: You swear nothing else happened with the skank girl?
- Seth Cohen: I swear, one kiss... maybe four.
- Summer: Well I hope you enjoyed them, because if anything like this happens again, I'll kill you.
- Ryan Atwood: Yeah, well, you won't have to. If we don't get five thousand soon, our pimp will.
- Seth Cohen: Well, between my money and Theresa's money, it's only three thousand.
- Summer: Three thousand... five hundred.
- Ryan Atwood: Thanks, but that's... still leaves us fifteen hundred short.
- Jenn: You know, you guys did buy us 'til midnight. That's more than enough time for another game of No Limit Hold 'Em.
- Seth Cohen: That's a card game, not hooker-talk.
- Seth Cohen: I love the hotel. I want to marry the hotel and have little gambling-addicted alcoholic kids with it.