- Ryan: [Ryan answers the door] Yeah?
- Kaitlin Cooper: So I show up at my house to surprise my mom and this Persian dude answers.
- Ryan: Uh, I'm sorry?
- Kaitlin Cooper: I figured that he was the new butler, but then I saw his shoes, Prada. I thought maybe he's my new step-dad. And I was about to like, hug him, when his wife shows up. And no matter how rich the guy is my mother would never join a herom.
- Ryan: I don't think...
- Kaitlin Cooper: So I was like, "Persian dude, what are you doing at my house? And where is my mother?" And he was all like, "Who's your mother?" So I told him and he tells me that my mother moved and all the mail is being forwarded here.
- Ryan: Uh, I think that you may have...
- Kaitlin Cooper: Are you gonna invite me in or what?
- [Ryan looks down thinking of what to say]
- Kaitlin Cooper: Jeez Ryan,
- [Ryan looks up shocked]
- Kaitlin Cooper: I see Newport hasn't improved your manners at all.
- Ryan: Oh my god.
- Seth: [Seth walks up] Oh my god, Kaitlin Cooper?
- Kaitlin Cooper: Weird neighbor kid, hi.
- Seth: You have uh, you have grown...
- Kaitlin Cooper: Boobs?
- Seth: No...
- [Looks at Ryan and nods]
- Seth: I'm telling you, it'll work.
- Summer: We're not starting a rumor that my dad has genital warts.
- Sandy: Hey Seth, how about lending your mom and hand downstairs.
- Seth: Actually... uh dad, we're kind of busy right now.
- Summer: We're trying to figure out a way to break up my dad and some skank-out-hoebag.
- Sandy: Veronica Townsand.
- Summer: See everyone knows.
- Sandy: You got nothing to worry about, it's a long story, but last nights date, one time thing.
- Summer: Really? I mean because he's bringing her to the party tonight.
- Sandy: He's going on a second date with her?
- Summer: I don't know.
- Kirsten: Oh Sandy, there you are. I have to talk to you about Veronica Townsand and you know who.
- Sandy: What happened?
- Kirsten: There are factors of which I was not aware of when I had you set them up.
- Seth: Wait, you set them up?
- Kirsten: Veronica wanted to go on a date with Summer's dad, and she threated to make Marissa's life hell if we didn't. Neil agreed as a favor.
- Sandy: Look, Neil's a smart guy, if he wants to go on a second date with her maybe he see's something in her that we dont.
- Summer: Huh?
- Seth: What the hockey?
- Kirsten: Nah nah nah.
- Sandy: Okay okay fine, but we have to make sure she's the one who ends it. If Neil starts pulling away she might take it out on Marissa.
- Seth: Genital warts is the answer.
- [Summer slaps Seth]
- Kirsten: Seth!
- Kirsten: Oh Sandy, there you are. I have to talk to you about Veronica Townsand and you know who.
- Seth: Now we have a quarome.
- Sandy: What happened?
- Kirsten: There are factors of which I was not aware of when I had you set them up.
- Seth: Wait, you set them up?
- Kirsten: Veronica wanted to go out with Summer's dad and she threated to make Marissa's life hell if we didn't set them up. Neil agreed as a favor.
- Sandy: Look Neil is a smart guy, if he wants to go on a second date with her, maybe he see's something in her that we don't.
- Summer: Huh?
- Seth: What the hockey?
- Kirsten: Nah nah nah.
- Sandy: Okay okay fine. But we have to make sure she's the one who ends is. If Neil starts pulling away, she might take it out on Marissa.
- Seth: Genital warts
- [Summer hits him]
- Seth: is the answer.
- Seth: I'm telling you it would work.
- Summer: We're not starting a rumor that my dad has gentile warts.
- Sandy: Hey Seth? How about lending a hand to your mom downstairs?
- Seth: Actually dad, we're kind of busy right now.
- Summer: We're trying to figure out away to break up my dad and some skank-and-hoebag.
- Sandy: Veronica Townsend.
- Summer: See everyone knows.
- Sandy: You got nothing to worry about. It's a long story but, last night's date, one time thing.
- Summer: Really? Because I mean, he's bringing her to the party tonight.
- Sandy: He's going on a second date with her?
- Summer: I don't know.
- Kirsten: Oh Sandy, there you are. I have to talk to you about Veronica Townsend and you know who.
- Seth: Now we have a quarome.
- Sandy: What happened?
- Kirsten: There are factors of which I was not aware of when I had you set them up.
- Seth: Wait, you set them up?
- Kirsten: Veronica wanted to go out with Summer's dad and she threaten to make Marissa's life hell if we didn't set them up. Neil agreed as a favor.
- Sandy: Look Neil is a smart guy, if he wants to go on a second date with her, maybe he see's something in her that we don't.
- Summer: Huh?
- Seth: What the hockey?
- Kirsten: Nah nah nah.
- Sandy: Okay okay fine. But we have to make sure she's the one who ends is. If Neil starts pulling away, she might take it out on Marissa.
- Seth: Gentile warts
- [Summer hits him]
- Seth: is the answer.
- Kirsten: Seth.
- Seth: I'm telling you, it'll work.
- Summer: We're not starting a rumor that my dad has genital warts.
- Sandy: Hey Seth, how about lending your mom and hand downstairs.
- Seth: Actually... uh dad, we're kind of busy right now.
- Summer: We're trying to figure out a way to break up my dad and some skank-out-hoebag.
- Sandy: Veronica Townsend.
- Summer: See everyone knows.
- Sandy: You got nothing to worry about, it's a long story, but last nights date, one time thing.
- Summer: Really? I mean because he's bringing her to the party tonight.
- Sandy: He's going on a second date with her?
- Summer: I don't know.
- Kirsten: Oh Sandy, there you are. I have to talk to you about Veronica Townsend and you know who.
- Sandy: What happened?
- Kirsten: There are factors of which I was not aware of when I had you set them up.
- Seth: Wait, you set them up?
- Kirsten: Veronica wanted to go on a date with Summer's dad, and she threated to make Marissa's life hell if we didn't. Neil agreed as a favor.
- Sandy: Look, Neil's a smart guy, if he wants to go on a second date with her maybe he see's something in her that we dont.
- Summer: Huh?
- Seth: What the hockey?
- Kirsten: Nah nah nah.
- Sandy: Okay okay fine, but we have to make sure she's the one who ends it. If Neil starts pulling away she might take it out on Marissa.
- Seth: Genital warts is the answer.
- [Summer slaps Seth]
- Kirsten: Seth!