- Dr. Joel Fleischman: I don't don't like it - I hate it! And I demand to leave!... Well that is because you are not the one who is supposed to spend the next 4 years of his life in this Godforsaken hole in the wall, pigsty with a bunch of dirty, psychotic rednecks!
- Maurice J. Minnifield: When I heard we had a crack at a Jew doctor from New York City... well, I don't have to tell you I jumped. You boys do outstanding work.
- Dr. Joel Fleischman: [to Maggie after a few beers] You're kinda pretty in a like, clean sort of way.