- Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: [to his group of trainees] I have found that the most important talent of a baliff is to stand for hours without taking a break. Let your bladder be your buddy.
- Dan Fielding: [trapped in a motel room with a psychotic woman who acts out movie roles] What do you say we pop on the TV and watch a couple of movies, eh?
- [he turns on the TV]
- TV Announcer:: We'll return to "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre"...
- Dan Fielding: [changes the channel] Seen that already.
- TV Announcer:: Tonight on Movie Showcase: "Dressed to Kill"...
- Dan Fielding: [changes the channel] Where are the Muppets when you need them, huh?
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [over the phone] You gotta listen to me! That woman you're with is psychotic!
- Dan Fielding: [chuckles] Well, maybe a little enthusiastic...
- [as he turns away, Valerie takes a butcher knife out of her purse...]
- Dan Fielding: Yeah? Uh, listen, how exactly are we defining "homicidal"?
- [And throws it, embedding it into the wall a few inches in front of Dan's nose]
- Dan Fielding: [into phone] Uh, Harry?
- [screaming]
- Dan Fielding: HELLLLLP!
- Valerie Sanders: [yanks the phone cord out of the wall] Sorry... wrong number.
- Christine Sullivan: [about Dans' impersonation] That's the worst Bogart.
- Mac Robinson: [Nodding] Not a bad Slyvester the Cat.
- Dr. DeLeon: My God, don't you realize that woman is dangerous? She over-identifies with characters in movies, and acts them out. Sometimes with horrifying results!
- Rhoda Wasserman: Boy, and she seemed so sweet when we were watching TV in the lounge.
- Dr. DeLeon: Quickly, miss! Exactly what were you watching?
- Rhoda Wasserman: Uh, it was an old black-and-white movie about a guy in a dress.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Oh, uh... "Some Like It Hot"?
- Rhoda Wasserman: No... "Psycho"!
- [Looks of horror all around]
- Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: She isn't being watched as much as she use to be.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: You Mean She Escaped!
- Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: That's another way of putting it.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Doc is there really a chance that this woman is going to kill Dan?
- Dr. DeLeon: Yes perhaps, but he might be okay as long as he treats her with kindness and compassion.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [Turning toward Christine] He's dead.