- Tony DiNozzo: [while pretending to be lovers] Sweetheart, you know what I could use right now?
- Ziva David: Deodorant?
- Maya: Maybe, after this is all over, we could go for a drink.
- Tony DiNozzo: Yeah...
- Ziva David: [entering] Tony, I'm pregnant.
- Maya: Uh, some other time, perhaps.
- Tony DiNozzo: Thanks.
- [Maya leaves in a huff]
- Ziva David: She's not your type, anyway.
- Tony DiNozzo: Hot and in a maid's outfit. They don't get any more my type.
- Maya: We're talking about your agents pretending to be married assassins.
- Yussif: Very convincing.
- Maya: I don't think anyone in the FBI would actually go all the way just to sell a cover story.
- Yussif: I would.
- Timothy McGee: Guys, they were acting.
- Yussif: Trust me. I know when someone's acting when they're having sex.
- Maya: It's true. I've met his wife.
- Timothy McGee: [whispering to Tony in the hotel room] If you whisper it should be okay.
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [from headquarters with Jenny] Comfortable, DiNozzo?
- Tony DiNozzo: Well, yeah. Workin' on it. Why do you ask?
- Jenny Shepard: We're looking at you Agent DiNozzo. *All* of you.
- Tony DiNozzo: [embarassed] Uh, sorry.
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: DiNozzo! What the hell are you going? You're *married* assassins, you're not visiting the Playboy mansion.
- Tony DiNozzo: It was kind of Ziva's idea, boss.
- Tony DiNozzo: I'm just trying to imagine you pregnant.
- Ziva David: Don't!
- Tony DiNozzo: I have to. I'm gonna be a father. It's a great responsibility.
- Ziva David: Maybe it's not yours.
- Tony DiNozzo: Maybe she didn't know.
- Ziva David: Oh, she knew.
- Tony DiNozzo: So why take this contract? Put our unborn child in danger?
- Ziva David: Perhaps we needed the money.
- Tony DiNozzo: Kids are expensive...
- Ziva David: And bullets are cheap.
- [after the elevator doors close]
- FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: Well, we really screwed this one up.
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Oh, you think, Tobias?
- FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: The question now is, how do we fix this without our directors getting into a world-class pissing match?
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Joint op?
- FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: Who takes lead?
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: My team's already in place.
- FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: You find out who hired them?
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: We're working on that.
- FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: I'm gonna need more than that for my tap dance at the Hoover Building, Jethro.
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Give us 24 hours, then we'll flip.
- FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: FBI gets operational control?
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah, and credit for the collar.
- FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: Agreed. The directors get to save face and we...
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Get the job done.
- [Gibbs pushes the button to return the elevator to the squadroom]
- FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: And people say we're bastards?
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Only because they know us.
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You're not the only one around here who knows how to play politics.
- Jenny Shepard: [slight chuckle] You're not serious. Your idea of politics usually involves some form of physical violence.
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Well you know what they say, Jen. Can't make an omelet unless you break a few eggs.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You're damn lucky we didn't blow these two away!
- FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: Which wouldn't have happened if you hadn't strayed into our jurisdiction!
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Conference room, now!
- FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: So eager to play with the big boys.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Big boys, my ass!
- [undercover as married asssasins, Ziva is giving Tony a back rub]
- Tony DiNozzo: [moaning pleasureably] Oh... oh... and to think, my mother thought I was too good for you.
- [She pinches his nerve, hard]
- Tony DiNozzo: Ow... ow!
- Tony DiNozzo: [kept awake by Ziva's snoring, mutters] Crazy chick...
- Ziva David: [sleepily] I heard that, my little Hairy Butt.
- Tony DiNozzo: The Raniers obviously stole something they want, you're going to give it to them.
- Ziva David: We don't have it!
- Tony DiNozzo: You're going to tell them it's in our hotel room and offer to show them. McGee should be waiting there with backup.
- Ziva David: Good plan, except for one minor drawback.
- Tony DiNozzo: What?
- Ziva David: When I leave, they'll most likely put a bullet through your head.
- Tony DiNozzo: Oh... well, I didn't say it was a perfect plan.
- Tony DiNozzo: You haven't fired your gun. Why are you cleaning it again?
- Ziva David: It keeps me calm. Helps to keep my mind on the job in my hand.
- Tony DiNozzo: The phrase is "the job at hand".
- Ziva David: Same difference.
- [to Tony, who is fast asleep]
- Ziva David: [French accent] Jean-Paul... my little furry bear?
- [pours water in his ear]
- Ziva David: Wake up...
- Tony DiNozzo: [leaps to his feet in his underwear] I'm in position, Boss!
- Tony DiNozzo: Whoa...
- Timothy McGee: Oh yeah this is going to be ugly.
- Maya: Oh yeah Fornell hasn't been this upset since...
- Yussif: The last time we saw him
- FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: [Gibbs shuts down the elevator] Gum?
- FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: And people say we're bastards?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Only because they know us.