NCIS (TV Series)
One Shot, One Kill (2004)
Michael Weatherly: Anthony DiNozzo
Photos
Quotes
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[Gibbs has three ex-wives]
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs : Hey, DiNozzo, kinda reminds me of your apartment. 'Cept for that minty fresh urine smell.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : For your information, I have a maid now.
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs : You can afford a maid?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : It's amazing what you can do when you don't have to pay three alimonies.
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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Just tell me he's wearing his vest.
Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd : ...He said it was visible under his shirt.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : I knew it! If the sniper doesn't kill him, I will.
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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Floors are scummy.
Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd : I would have taken the floor.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : No. You would have made some comment about sexism in the workplace.
Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd : I'll do it.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Nah, you're just humouring me.
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Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd : You think his recruiter told him a fast one?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : I doubt it.
Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd : Why?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Can you imagine someone lying to Gibbs and getting away with it?
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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : [as he finishes setting up the sensors] You know if this works, Abs, you're a genius.
Abby Sciuto : Oh Tony, tell me something I *don't* know.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : I once dated my high school music teacher.
Abby Sciuto : Really? What was his name?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : [fake chuckle] Cute.
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Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd : Next time drive a little faster, Tony. I think my glands have an ounce of adrenaline left.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Response to a crime scene investigation demands a timely arrival, Kate.
Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd : It would help if the investigators didn't PUKE all over the crime scene.
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs : Brings back memories.
Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd : Memories of what?
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs : Marriage.
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Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd : [searching a warehouse] Where the hell's the bullet? It's like it just disappeared.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : I'm gonna need you on your knees over here, Kate. It's time to get dirty.
Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd : *What*?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : We have to sweep the floor for marks. It may have lost velocity and dropped.
Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd : Right... I-I knew that.
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Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs : Why are all these dolls... naked?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Don't ask me, Boss. Must be a Goth thing.
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Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd : We can get the trajectory, no problem.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : The competition's gonna be for the bullet.
Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard : I don't think the unfortunate Staff Sergeant Allen isn't going to be much use there. The bullet passed clean through.
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs : Then I suggest we help our "good friends", the FBI, find it. Tony, make a hole.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : [to Ducky] Scalpel.
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs : Kate, find the bullet.
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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Well, you think I could pass for a marine?
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs : I don't know, let's shave your head and find out.
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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : [up on a telephone pole] Gibbs gets dress blue charlies, I look like one of the Village People.
Abby Sciuto : Ha-ha. Maybe you could find a local cop and get a dance rountine goin'.
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[last lines]
Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd : You know Abby said you looked really great in uniform, too.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Did she?
Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd : Yeah, you'd fit right in with the Biker Boy, the Indian Chief, the Cowboy and the other Macho, Macho Men...
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[reviewing Alvarez' complaint file]
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : You'll like this one, Boss. One guy wanted to be a paramedic, so Alvarez guaranteed him the Corps would train him to save lives.
[Gibbs and Tony share a laugh]
Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd : What's wrong with that?
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs : The Marine Corps doesn't have medical personnel.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : They're all Navy.
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs : Technically, it is correct. I mean, Marines do save lives - mostly through the use of superior firepower.
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Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs : Oh boy! We've got a *major* problem!
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : What do you see?
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs : A shooter who is highly intelligent, and methodical. Out of a thousand bricks on this wall, he only removed the one he needed.