- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: If we screw this up, I have a suggestion.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: What?
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: We break into Gibbs's basement and we set his boat on fire.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: That's cold, Kate. I knew there was a reason I liked you.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I haven't got high enough clearance to access those records.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: What's your clearance?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Confidential.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Confidential? What'd you do, kill someone in high school?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Ha! That's funny, Kate. No, I screwed up my paperwork with another agent's.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Agent Tony DiNozzo died in a car crash last month. Very tragic.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: They yanked my clearance. Now I gotta take a physical to get it back.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Why's that?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: To prove that I'm still alive.
- [robbing a grave]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: This is so not right. I mean, it's not like we couldn't have done this during daylight.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: You afraid of ghosts, Tony?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: No, I'm afraid of getting shot for trespassing
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Morning! Sleep well?
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: If by well, you mean violently throwing up all night and bouncing around like rag dolls...
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: [looking at Gibbs as they're flying to Colombia] Okay, is he really sleeping or is that just an act?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Oh, he's really sleeping.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: How can you tell?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: He looks peaceful.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Do you know what a trocar is, Tony?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I'm guessing it's not an alien on "Star Trek"?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Gibbs'll get in. He's got clearance that'll let him see the dead aliens buried in Area 51.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Because he probably killed them.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [woman is buried with her dog] Must've been one lonely old lady.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Or one pissed off poodle.
- Gonzales: [after Gibbs and the others are taking the law in their own hands in Colombia] Now I know why everyone in CIA hates these guys...
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [after the suspect escapes in an armored car] That's twice! Next time, you are MINE!
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Tired Kate?
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: It's 3 AM, Gibbs.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Better get moving then.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: On what?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Need to know where the newspaper was published that was found in Kidwell.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Tonight?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Technically speaking, it's this morning.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: We got their R.U.C. number but they're not listed in the Marine Corps Database.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Wouldn't be they weren't working for the Corps. *Definitely* C.I.A.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Well, how do you know that?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: How many agencies you know that drive economy-class armored cars?... Come on, Ducky wants to talk to us.
- [Gibbs walks away]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: He's *really* pissed off!
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: What? How can you tell?
- [Tony glares at Kate shakes his head then walks away]
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: ...I *really* need to get better at reading men!
- Jack Kenton: I can't believe you trusted me.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You sound just like my ex-wife.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Hmm. Well, I hate to break it to you, Tony, but Gibbs can be wrong sometimes.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Name one.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: The man's been married, like, four times.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: There is that.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: There is what?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Nothing, boss, just discussing the case.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Or, ah, lack thereof. You still wanna look at those LESs?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I dunno. You figure out how Kidwell died yet?
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: I'll, um, I'll just get them in order for you.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Kate. It was three times. Not four.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Duck, we don't have time for stories on this one.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Fine. But first I have a question: do you people find me... boring?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [speaking simultaneously with the others] No.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Of course not!
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Absolutely not.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: ...Can we get back to this now?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Our major appears to be in perfect health.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Except for the part where he's dead.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Uh, Gibbs, is there anything you wanna tell us about?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I got shot at by our fake colonel.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [rising up] No way! Did you nail him?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Nope!
- CIA Director Bob: Those are pretty BOLD accusations, Agent Gibbs. Do you have any proof of this?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Major Peary wasn't in his grave. And Kidwell was alive four days ago. You tell me, sir.
- NCIS Director Tom Morrow: Where is he now, Bob?
- CIA Director Bob: [clears his throat] Well, now, on his was back to Colombia. Look, if this turns out to be true, WE will handle this! I do not need NCIS to play Internal Affairs for my agency!
- NCIS Director Tom Morrow: Understood.
- [the MTAC feed closes. Turns to Gibbs]
- NCIS Director Tom Morrow: Go get our Marine!
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Yes the concentration of methanol confirmed my suspicions. The reason I was unable to determine the cause of death was because our Major was alive when they embalmed him!
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I wanna know why.
- Lieutenant Colonel Walsh: That makes two of us, Agent Gibbs. Do you think I like get Marines back in boxes?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Why don't we start with Major Kidwell, and Peary. How they died.
- Lieutenant Colonel Walsh: That's need to know.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Trust me. I *need* to know!
- Lieutenant Colonel Walsh: Unfortunately it seems, I don't! Their records are sealed, and every inquiry I've made has been shot down!
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: The question now: is what happened to Major Peary? Is he still alive?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: There's an easy way to check.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: What? You think Mrs. Peary's just gonna give us permission to dig up his grave?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I don't know, Kate. I wasn't planning on asking her.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: [performing an autopsy then Ducky jumps back in shock] Dear Lord! I believe I know how you died Major. May the Lord have mercy on your soul!
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [At the shooting range, after one of Tony's shots hit the hostage on the target in the ear, Gibbs tapes Tony's NCIS cap to the hostage's face] Ah, come on, boss, I've been breaking that cap in for 3 months. I love that cap.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Then don't shoot it.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: How could you work in law enforcement your entire life and not learn to type?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I'm a man of action,
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: More like an action figure.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Why, you wanna play with me?
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: As in you look good but you really can't do much.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: But I look good.
- Abby Sciuto: [examining the bullet holes in Tony's NCIS cap] Very cool. Where can I get one.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You can have that one.