- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: You did me a favor tonight, Jethro. Tonight is "SmackDown!" night at the Mallard residence. Can you believe it? Mother's favorite program: wrestling.
- Jimmy Palmer: Mine too. I love the WWE.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: I haven't the heart to tell her it's not real.
- [Palmer's face falls]
- Jocelyn Wayne: [after identifying Gibbs as a Marine to her daughter without Gibbs telling her he was in the Corps] Twenty years in the Navy. I know a Marine when I see one, Agent Gibbs.
- Abby Sciuto: I found calcium which is present in human bones, but no phosphorus.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Which means?
- Abby Sciuto: There really is no foreplay with you, is there, Gibbs?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: What, you been talking to my ex-wives again?
- Officer Ziva David: The lawyer drooled over Tony, why doesn't he just sleep with her?
- [Tony and McGee exchange looks]
- Officer Ziva David: What? It's a viable interrogation technique.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [Nodding] I've done it.
- [Says getting up and leaving]
- Officer Ziva David: Me too.
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: Do you think it would be inappropriate if, as Director, I went in there and smacked that smile off her face?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [chuckles] Yeah, it would. But that's what you have me for.
- [after the team raids a chop-shop, Ziva opens the trunk on a stolen car, finding a decapitated head in a beer cooler]
- Officer Ziva David: Gibbs! The car's not the only thing they've been chopping here.
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: Something wrong Agent DiNozzo?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Just wondering if Gibbs knows you're Ziva's source.
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: Back in Europe we had a saying, "Anything Gibbs doesn't know...
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Can't hurt him.
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: No. Can't hurt *us*!
- Abby Sciuto: I ran the fingerprints from the Mercedes, the cooler in the back of the car, and Martin Boussard's room. They're all the same and they're all his.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Boussard stole the Mercedes?
- Abby Sciuto: Either that or he just really likes to touch stuff.
- Abby Sciuto: Lay some tissue samples on me, Duckman.
- [Ducky gestures for Palmer to do it]
- Jimmy Palmer: So, light meat or dark?
- [Abby shoots him an incredulous look]
- Jimmy Palmer: Inappropriate?
- Abby Sciuto: With a big dash of creepy, Jimmy.
- Jimmy Palmer: It's my delivery. I need to work on that.
- Jocelyn Wayne: I'm glad he was assigned this case, even if it was punishment.
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: Punishment?
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: [Talking to Ziva about Gibbs] He's like the Hope Diamond. A valuable gem. But it comes with a curse.
- Floyd Vernon: [at a funeral home] How can I help you gentlemen today?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: We're investigating a death.
- Floyd Vernon: I figured as much.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Why do you say that?
- Floyd Vernon: The only times I see cops around here are when they're on official business. Or, you know... they're customers.
- Officer Ziva David: I didn't know your nickname was Honey Buns?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Only Naiomi and I call him that.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Didn't think you were going to say anything about that boss.
- Abby Sciuto: We found traces of blood on three of the knives we got from Martin Boussard's room.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: And all three came back the same type.
- Officer Ziva David: Captain Wayne's?
- Abby Sciuto: Nope.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard, Abby Sciuto: Chicken.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Well, it's not an uncommon substance to find at a voodoo ritual.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah or at a KFC.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You thinking what I'm thinking probie?
- Timothy McGee: Yeah we just walked into an an episode of the X-files.
- LCDR Kyle Ross: Is that what this is all about, the body parts? Doesn't surprise me. That arm alone would be worth a fortune.
- Jimmy Palmer: Really?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Pharmaceutical companies and medical supply firms will pay vast sums for cadavers.
- Jimmy Palmer: Where do they get them?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Willed body programs, universities, but the demand far outstrips the supply.
- LCDR Kyle Ross: A human body can be worth as much as $200,000.
- Jimmy Palmer: Well... and how much would a little arm like this be worth?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: A lot. It's not unlike car theft. A body, stripped down to its component parts is worth far more than the whole, and harder to trace... Table Two.
- Jimmy Palmer: [carrying the arm over to Table Two] Wow, this could pay off my college loans.
- [Ross chuckles]
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Don't give me cause to check your car trunk tonight, Mr. Palmer.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: When they answer the phone, what are you going to say, officer David? Hey, we found your car. Anybody at Epsilon missing a head?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: This guy's apartment makes McGee's look like the Four Seasons.
- Timothy McGee: Whoa, what is wrong with my home?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Uh, nothing that a bulldozer and a few coats of paint wouldn't fix.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: We don't believe in coincidences around here Ziva.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: However, we do believe in bad luck.