- Kobras: [who's played by Donald Pleasance] Comb the area! Find him!
- Crow: Donald's only use for the word "comb" right there.
- Vadinho: Each man is a God. Each man is free.
- Crow: So if each man is a God, what does that make God?
- Crow: You know I have almost no respect for pumas now? I now know that if I ever run into a puma I can just push it the hell over.
- Kobras: Because you are made of earth...
- Crow: [as Kobras] Corn grows in you.
- Kobras: ...and to earth you shall return!
- Mike Nelson: Huh? That was an odd thing to say, even for him.
- Vadinho: You've succeeded! They think you are dead. And now they will leave you alone!
- Mike Nelson: To be left alone - the goal of every great hero.
- [watching Puma Man fly]
- Mike Nelson: You know, I hate to be picky, but pumas aren't really known for flying.
- [Tony and Jane are flying in the air]
- Jane Dobson: Have you ever seen anybody make love in the air?
- Tony Farms: But that's how you make little puma men!
- Mike Nelson: [disgusted] Oh, and he immediately defiles the holy gift given to him.
- Vadihno: This belt belonged to your father. With it, you will have all the powers he had.
- Mike Nelson: [as Vadihno] Or your money back.
- [People stand around Kobras confused]
- Mike Nelson: What kind of party clown are you? I'm not paying for this!
- [Tony and Jane are staring at Kobras, tense music plays]
- Tom Servo: [as Kobras] I was meant to bring an appetiser wasn't I?
- Mike Nelson: [on Puma man] Wool over his eyes man!
- Crow: Easily bamboozled man!
- Tom Servo: Three steps behind man!
- Villain: Everybody who goes there doesn't talk!
- Crow: So nobody who DOESN'T go there doesn't NOT talk?
- [Jane gives Tony a party invitation]
- Tony Farms: The Dutch Embassy?
- Jane Dobson: [playfully] Does that scare you?
- Tony Farms: [playfully] Yeah.
- Mike Nelson: [as Tony] The Dutch are mean!
- Jane Dobson: [Reading an inscription on an Aztec mask] It's a curse.
- Mike Nelson: It says the F-word.