Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)

The Pumaman (1998)

Michael J. Nelson: Mike Nelson

Quotes 

• Mike Nelson : An egg. Oh wait, it's Donald Pleasence.

• [Watching Puma Man "fly"] 

  Mike Nelson : He has the power to rear-project major cities.

• Kobras : Because you are made of earth...

  Crow : [as Kobras]  Corn grows in you.

  Kobras : ...and to earth you shall return!

  Mike Nelson : Huh? That was an odd thing to say, even for him.

• Vadinho : You've succeeded! They think you are dead. And now they will leave you alone!

  Mike Nelson : To be left alone - the goal of every great hero.

• Vadihno : I say put it on...

  Mike Nelson : ...and you say "pyoot it oon."

• [watching Puma Man fly] 

  Mike Nelson : You know, I hate to be picky, but pumas aren't really known for flying.

• [Tony and Jane are flying in the air] 

  Jane Dobson : Have you ever seen anybody make love in the air?

  Tony Farms : But that's how you make little puma men!

  Mike Nelson : [disgusted]  Oh, and he immediately defiles the holy gift given to him.

• Vadihno : This belt belonged to your father. With it, you will have all the powers he had.

  Mike Nelson : [as Vadihno]  Or your money back.

• [People stand around Kobras confused] 

  Mike Nelson : What kind of party clown are you? I'm not paying for this!

• Mike Nelson : Are pumas also known for their whining?

• Mike Nelson : [on Puma man]  Wool over his eyes man!

  Crow : Easily bamboozled man!

  Tom Servo : Three steps behind man!

• Mike Nelson : [after Tony turns into Puma Man]  He gave him the Captain Dork costume by mistake.

• Mike Nelson : [sighs]  World, get used to being run by Donald Pleasence.

• Mike Nelson : Are you poor? Eew!

• Mike Nelson : The wall didn't bend. Ignore that.

• [Jane gives Tony a party invitation] 

  Tony Farms : The Dutch Embassy?

  Jane Dobson : [playfully]  Does that scare you?

  Tony Farms : [playfully]  Yeah.

  Mike Nelson : [as Tony]  The Dutch are mean!

• [Tony puts on a huge bowtie for the party at the embassy] 

  Mike Nelson : Parachute-slash-bowtie.

• Jane Dobson : [Reading an inscription on an Aztec mask]  It's a curse.

  Mike Nelson : It says the F-word.

• Mike Nelson : Are criminals genetically drawn to construction sites?

• Mike Nelson : [Kobras steps onto a rising platform]  Wheeeeee...