- Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes: David, believe it or not, there are things that happen in this world that have nothing to do with you.
- David Addison Jr.: You can't prove that. You don't know what I do when I'm not in this office.
- Agnes DiPesto: Blue Moon Investigations.
- [answering the phone]
- Agnes DiPesto: We'd love to speak to you, that would be keen, / But since we're not here, talk to this machine. / When you hear the beep, leave your name and number. / Don't hang up, that would be a bummer.
- Burt Viola: Just take a look at this bunch, will you? And we think we've evolved? It's amazing how people will flock to a place like this. All of them looking for the same thing. Hoping for a meaningless, empty coupling to make them forget their meaningless, empty lives. As if cheap sex with a total stranger will ease the pain of their loneliness.
- Waitress: Hi Bert. The usual?
- Burt Viola: Uh - Can't tonight, I'm on the job.