Malcolm in the Middle (TV Series)

Jessica Stays Over (2005)

Justin Berfield: Reese Wilkerson

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Reese : You can bite my American ass, Jiao Lee.

  Dewey : What's that?

  Reese : The school made us adopt pen-pals from different countries. I got stuck with this loser from China.

  Dewey : What's wrong with China?

  Reese : It's not what you think, Dewey. He won't send you illegal fireworks, or get your nunchucks autographed by the Emperor. The guy's a total jerk. It started off with a simple request to apologize for Pearl Harbor. The guy wouldn't do it. He's so arrogant! When I draw squiggles it's nonsense. When he does it, it's a language! I was so pissed! Then I thought, Be the better man, and reason with the guy.

  Dewey : [reading Reese's letter aloud]  'Do you want me to kick your butt? Check Yes or No'

  Reese : [astonished]  And there's his response! He couldn't even follow simple instructions!

  Dewey : [continues reading Reese's letter]  'You need help, Reese'

  Reese : He thinks a whole planet between us is going to protect him? He thinks he's so smart? We'll see who's smart when I mail myself to China and kick his upside-down ass... I can't wait to see his face when he opens up his mail and I pop out.

• Reese : All right, let's get moving. I want to be at the post office for the 4:00 pick-up.

  Dewey : Should I get you stamped "fragile"?

  Reese : What's that supposed to mean?

• Reese : I bet you weren't expecting this, Zhao! Now you're gonna experience a good old American ass-whupping.

  Mike : Hey, quit it!

  Reese : I don't speak Chinese, jackass.

  Mike : All right.

  [starts punching Reese]