- Dewey: [to Francis] Someday when you come back, and you're unemployed and have no place to live, you can come stay at my castle.
- Lois: [to Francis] We made sacrifice after sacrifice for you and you caused us nothing but pain!
- Francis: You want pain? I've got your scars, baby. Three and a half years in that horrible school!
- Lois: We went without for that school!
- Francis: Maybe I should thank you! Thank you, Mother for making my life a living hell!
- Lois: Living hell? You've been nothing but a problem since the day you were born!
- Francis: It's over, lady, because I'm outta here!
- Malcolm: [to Mr. Herkabe] What does being number one get you?
- Lionel Herkabe: Nothing. Just the satisfaction of knowing that you are number one, and that you
- [points to Kevin]
- Lionel Herkabe: are not number one.
- Lloyd: [When the Krelboynes look up information about their new teacher] Notice anything?
- Stevie Kenarban: He was a Krelboyne.
- Kevin: We won't have to talk down to him.
- Dabney: Finally! Someone who knows our pain.
- Lionel Herkabe: [as he picks up a paper coffee cup] Who's Dabney?
- Dabney: That's me, sir!
- [stands up]
- Dabney: I got the liberty of ordering you a decaf soy latte.
- Lionel Herkabe: Let me guess. Emotionally needy, closet bed-wetter, you get no affection at home, so you'll be seeking it from me. Look elsewhere, son.
- Lionel Herkabe: Granted I don't have a teaching certificate from a 2-year community college like most of the people I was forced to say hello to this morning in the teacher's lounge, but you know, I'm just gonna try to muddle through with my double doctorate from Harvard.