Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman (TV Series)

Ultra Woman (1995)

Teri Hatcher: Lois Lane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ultrawoman : It's Perry and Jimmy. They're going to know me!

  Superman : No, they won't.

  Ultrawoman : How blind do you think people are?

• Lois Lane : Did I tell you how much I hate wearing this costume underneath my clothes? Feels like long underwear.

  Clark Kent : Yeah, well, it feels good after a while. It's snug. Believe me. You miss it when...

  Lois Lane : You don't like just wearing your boxers?

  Clark Kent : Boxers? I wear briefs.

  Lois Lane : I know.

  Clark Kent : Lois did you X-ray my...?

  [Lois laughs jokingly] 

  Lois Lane : I was just kidding. Geez.

• Lois Lane : You know, if somebody had asked me 3 days ago who the one person I admired most was, I'd have said you. But without really knowing what that meant. Without understanding the hardest thing about being you is all the things you can't do. All the cries for help that you can't answer and how that quietly tears you apart. It never stops you. And after living a little of that myself I realized something. Something that I never thought was possible.

  Clark Kent : What?

  Lois Lane : I love you more. More than I ever have. And more than I ever thought I could love anyone. And so I want to ask...

  [Gets down on one knee and pulls out Clark's ring] 

  Lois Lane : Will you marry me?

  Clark Kent : Who's asking, Lois or Ultra Woman?

  Lois Lane : Who's answering, Clark or Superman?

  Clark Kent : [Stands up and pulls Lois to her feet]  *I'm* answering.

  Lois Lane : I'm waiting.

  Clark Kent : Yes.

  [Takes out the ring, puts it on Lois's finger and they kiss] 

• [as Ultrawoman, Lois pounds a table causing it to collapse. An object from the table hits Clark in the forehead and winces in pain] 

  Ultrawoman : Oh! Oh! Clark, are you okay?

  Clark Kent : Uh, fine. Fine.

  Ultrawoman : You're bleeding.

  Clark Kent : It's just a nick.

  Ultrawoman : Oh, God. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

  Clark Kent : Lois, it was an accident. It happens.

  Ultrawoman : Well, it can't happen anymore. No more accidents, no more mistakes... not after tonight.

  Clark Kent : What do you mean? Hey, what is it?

  Ultrawoman : I was landing this plane in Paris, and I heard about this mudslide in Brazil. And I tried to get there as fast as I could, and I wasn't fast enough.

  [Lois starts to cry] 

  Clark Kent : Hey...

  Ultrawoman : And what did I do wrong? How come I couldn't get there faster? And why did all those people have to...

  Clark Kent : Lois, listen to me. No matter how strong you are, and no matter how fast, sometimes it just isn't enough. And you have to accept that.

  Ultrawoman : But what makes me a good reporter is that I DON'T accept things. And I'm always questioning, and I'm never satisfied... and I'm never gonna be satisfied with getting there five seconds too late. And I don't care what you say. I know it doesn't make you feel good to watch me do what you were born to do.

  Clark Kent : Well, I admit, I do miss the cape and the "S", and this whole... bleeding thing is no fun.

  Ultrawoman : Yeah, and crying with this mask isn't so great either.

• Lucille Newtrich : I see fear in your eyes.

  Ultrawoman : That's just... extreme modesty.

• Lois Lane : [after stopping a truck]  Ah, those shoes cost $75... Does the superhero's union cover expenses?

  Clark Kent : No, but it does bring up an interesting issue.

  Lois Lane : Which is...

  Clark Kent : Well, you're just not the kind of person who can sit around and watch someone in trouble if you can help.

  Lois Lane : Oh, I have a bad feeling about where this is going.

  Clark Kent : But you don't want the world knowing that it's Lois Lane stopping trucks. So...

  Lois Lane : Does this mean I have to wear glasses?

  [Later at Martha and Jonathan's house, Martha checks a bag of rolled materials] 

  Jonathan Kent : [laughing]  Oh, no, dear. Of course not. I'm thinking about a mask.

  Lois Lane : [holding rolls of material]  A mask?

  Martha Kent : [serving Lois a cup of tea]  Oh, I think a mask would be very sharp!

  Jonathan Kent : How about a cape?

  Lois Lane : Uh, you guys, could we just slow down? I don't think I can do this.

  Jonathan Kent : No cape?

  Lois Lane : No, I... I mean ANY of it. Uh, this... it's just... it's not me, it's Clark. You know, he's putting on this brave face, but inside I know this is eating him alive. If he sees me in a cape and tights, how do you think that's gonna make him feel?

  Martha Kent : Lois, Clark is strong. And I'm not talking about how much he can benchpress. He's strong where it counts, and WHEN it counts.

  Jonathan Kent : He'll get through this. You BOTH will. Now...

  [Martha holds one of Lois' shoes. The bottom of the heel is worn] 

  Jonathan Kent : Let's talk boots.

• [In a suit and tie, Lois arrives at the Daily Planet. She finds Jimmy setting up several bouquets and wreaths of flowers] 

  Lois Lane : Jimmy, what are these?

  Jimmy Olsen : They're for Ultrawoman.

  Lois Lane : Really.

  [Lois looks at the cards] 

  Lois Lane : The Governor... Fabio... Brad Pitt... Deion Sanders... Jimmy Ol... Jimmy?

  Jimmy Olsen : I know it's not the biggest, but you think she'll like it?

  Lois Lane : Well, I...

  Jimmy Olsen : I can't get her out of my mind, Lois. I know it sounds crazy, but the way she looked in those tights... and the boots, I mean... you think they're leather?

  Lois Lane : I think you should apply ice.

  [Clark arrives. Tiny pieces of tissue are stuck to his face] 

  Jimmy Olsen : Hey! Morning, C.K. Whoa! Cut yourself shaving?

  Clark Kent : Repeatedly.

  [Jimmy walks away] 

  Lois Lane : Morning.

  Clark Kent : Morning.

  [Clark looks at the flowers] 

  Clark Kent : Ultrawoman?

  [He picks up a card] 

  Clark Kent : Antonio Banderas.

  [Clark crumples the card and throws it down] 

  Clark Kent : Never liked that guy.

  [Clark walks away] 

  Lois Lane : [Lois bends down and picks up the crumpled card]  Me neither.

• [as Superman, Clark runs up to a big iron gate and looks around. Lois runs up to him] 

  Lois Lane : What is it?

  Superman : I can't fly.

  Lois Lane : What?

  Superman : No X-Ray vision, no super hearing, nothing.

  Lois Lane : Clark...

  Superman : How do YOU feel?

  Lois Lane : Fine.

  [Lois pulls on one of the doors of the gate. It comes off in her hand! Lois gasps] 

  Superman : [in disbelief]  Oh, boy.