- [Lizzie is hiding a decapitated school statue]
- Miranda Sanchez: Why don't you tell them Kate broke it?
- Elizabeth Brooke "Lizzie" McGuire: Because middle school doesn't have a witness protection program.
- the statue head: Hey you kids, cut that out!
- Mrs. Carrabino: Can I get anything for you boys? Pamento loaf? Balogna roll-up? Lime gelatin mold?
- Matt McGuire: Uh, no. Not when there's work to be done. So we're just going to rake some leaves?
- Mrs. Carrabino: No.
- Matt McGuire: Mow the lawn?
- Mrs. Carrabino: No. You lucky little boys get to clean my attic! HAAAAAA!
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: How about this: We smuggle you into Canada in the hull of a fishing boat. Then, when the heat dies down, we come and get you. You'll change your name and get a job as a lumberjack. From then, you'll be known as Frere Jacques.
- Elizabeth Brooke "Lizzie" McGuire: Okay, Gordo, what's the plan?
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: I told you the plan, but you didn't like the plan.
- Elizabeth Brooke "Lizzie" McGuire: But you always have a plan!
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: I did! It was Canada!