Lizzie McGuire (TV Series)
Rated Aargh (2001)
Hilary Duff: Lizzie McGuire
Photos
Quotes
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[trying to sneak into the rated R movie "Vesuvious: The Eruption"]
Gordo : [whispers to Lizzie and Miranda] Talk like you've just seen the movie.
Gordo : The critics were right! Vesuvious explodes off the screen!
Miranda : Another triumph for Affleck! His love scenes are hotter than lava! Don't hail Ceasar, hail Oscar!
Lizzie : I liked the volcano!
Lizzie : [to Gordo and Miranda] What? I like volcanos!
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Lizzie : This is so cool, you guys, we're gonna be on TV.
[in Lizzie's head, on the red carpet]
Animated Lizzie : This could be my big break. Next, I'll be starring opposite Ben Affleck in Vesuvious 2.
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Gordo : It's official. We're the only three kids in this school who haven't seen "Vesuvius: The Eruption".
Miranda : Duh. 'Cause it's rated R.
Lizzie : Besides, Gordo, since when do you care what other people do?
Gordo : I don't. I just wanna see the movie. An entire ancient city destroyed by lava. And...
Miranda : ...And Ben Affleck in a doomed love affair.
Lizzie : I know, you're right. It's like the best movie ever made. Why does it have to be rated R?
Gordo : Because of adult situations, mild violence and brief nudity.
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Sam McGuire : [about the "miniature golf"] Who won?
[the kids speak at the same time]
Lizzie : Gordo.
Miranda : Lizzie.
Gordo : Miranda.
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Lizzie : The sports guy will announce who won the car races, and Gordo's taping it at home, and he doesn't wanna know who the winner is. Right, Gordo?
Gordo : Yeah... I-I love car races.
Sam McGuire : Really, Gordo? I had no idea that you were a racing nut. What are you into? NASCAR? Formula 1?
Gordo : All of them! NASCAR, Formula 1... Formula 2...
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Miranda : [walking over to Lizzie, who is putting her notebooks in her locker, with Gordo] Hey.
Lizzie : [turns; closes locker] Oh, hey. I was thinking since we can't go to the movie this weekend, we should go to Mount Rushmore mini golf.
[Gordo makes a face with a sound effect]
Miranda : Miniature golf? Is that the dorkiest thing you can think of? How about the sci-fi convention?
Lizzie : [defiant] Hey, I like miniature golf, okay? You're just still mad about your fourth-grade birthday party when I set the course record for the windmill.
[pictures with sound effect ensue]
Larry Tudgeman : [walking with friend toward the friends' direction] I can't believe I'm saying this, but Vesuvius is actually better than Star Wars.
[turns to his locker]
Friend : I've seen it four times. And I still can't figure out how they do that thing with the lava.
Larry Tudgeman : [looks sideways with a sly look on his face] I'm not watching the lava. I'm watchin' the slave girls.
Friend : Yeahhhhh.
[Larry then turns to Lizzie]
Larry Tudgeman : Ooooh, Lizzie.
[growls; Lizzie is grossed out]
Gordo : Okay, new plan. We tell our parents we're going miniature golfing when instead, we go and see Vesuvius.
Lizzie : [incredulous] Okay, so you're telling me to lie to my parents?
Gordo : No, I'm asking you to make a last-minute change in plans in advance.
Miranda : Mmmhmmm. That sounds reasonable to me.
Lizzie : [slight nod, haltingly] Okay. I'll try. But I don't think it's gonna work.
-
[slides into kitchen, looking cautiously at her mom and then slides back out of view, scared]
Animated Lizzie : [hiding behind a huge banana in a fruit basket] This is never gonna work.
Lizzie : [slides back; bravely walks to her mom] Mom? Can I ask you something?
Animated Lizzie : [now behind an orange and banana in the oversized basket and next to an apple] This is never gonna work!
Jo McGuire : Sure, Sweetie. What's up?
Lizzie : Uh, can I go play miniature golf with Gordo and Miranda this weekend?
Animated Lizzie : [shaking head, now on edge of bowl in the front, eyes wide] This is never gonna work!
Jo McGuire : [uppity] Sure. That sounds fun.
Animated Lizzie : What?
[slides out of bowl and puts arms up in questioning stance and Lizzie excitedly toddles out of the room]
