Lizzie McGuire (TV Series)

Misadventures in Babysitting (2001)

Adam Lamberg: David 'Gordo' Gordon

Quotes 

• Lizzie : Kate babysits? Since when does Kate babysit? Oh, why don't they just make her queen of the world and be done with it.

  Gordo : Babysitting sounds like a pretty sweet gig. Why don't you do it?

  Lizzie : I don't babysit. I get baby-sat.

  Miranda : And plus, babysitting jobs are hard to get. Parents want to make sure you're mature enough.

  Gordo : Well, I guess Kate sort of does give off some visual signals which imply a biologically nuturing capability...

  Miranda : We get it, Gordo. She's stacked.

  Gordo : Yes. Yes, she is.

• [Mr. McGuire, who Lizzie, Gordo and Miranda think is a burglar, is hit in the crotch with a paint can] 

  Gordo : [to Lizzie and Miranda]  You guys have to trust me. You have no idea how much that hurts.

• Lizzie : Okay, Gordo. Imagine you live in a boring suburb where all the houses look alike and everybody's predictable.

  Gordo : I do live in a boring suburb where all the houses look alike and everyone's predictable. Thank you.

  Lizzie : Okay, but if you could pick any business you wanted on Main Street, what would it be?

  Gordo : A bookstore containing the works of Navajo and Greek philosophers, a coffeehouse where people only discussed music and politics, a thousand-foot water slide ending in a swim-up counter where they serve free deep-fried pizza and Tyra Banks would be the mayor. I've given this a lot of thought.

• Lizzie : Gordo, can you get him to quit that?

  Gordo : You're in charge. You do it.

  Lizzie : Could you at least help? You didn't come here to watch TV on the couch.

  Gordo : Fine. I'll watch TV in your room.

• Miranda : [about their school project]  Where do they come up with these moronic assignments?

  Lizzie : The Moronic Assignment Study Guide. It's like this thick.

  Gordo : Let me guess. That's how tall Tom Cruise is.

  Miranda : Tom Cruise isn't short. He just has small bones.

• Lizzie : This had better come out of the carpet, Matt.

  [to Miranda] 

  Lizzie : What'd you give him grape juice for? I told you ginger ale. At least ginger ale isn't purple.

  Miranda : Grape juice was the only thing that would shut him up. He won't do a thing you say.

  Lizzie : Matt, go upstairs, change your shirt and get cleaned up now.

  Matt McGuire : No.

  Miranda : See?

  Lizzie : Zip it!

  Miranda : Why should I? He won't.

  Lizzie : Matt, starting right now, you do everything I tell you or I'll tell Mom and Dad.

  Matt McGuire : Nuh-uh. You want Mom and Dad to think you're a good babysitter, so you're going to say things went great.

  Lizzie : Then I'll squash you like a bug instead.

  Matt McGuire : Then I'll tell Mom and Dad. Face it. I'm in charge here.

  Lizzie : No. I'm in charge here.

  Gordo : Matt, what do you say we go upstairs and find you a clean shirt?

  Matt McGuire : Okay.

  Lizzie : How come he does what you say?

  Gordo : Well, I'm an older male. He's impressed by me.

  Lizzie : Well, I'm in charge here and he's supposed to do what I say, not what you say.

  Gordo : Who cares who says to do it? He needs a new shirt. He's as sticky as the floor of a movie theater.

• Kate Sanders : Hey, Gordo, do you know where the nearest Software Shack is?

  Gordo : Yeah. It's over on Collins Street.

  Kate Sanders : Would they have that software that designs cities and towns and stuff?

  Gordo : You mean CyberTown Maker? They should.

  Lizzie : Okay, Kate, we're supposed to do this assignment ourselves.

  Kate Sanders : Whatever.

  Lizzie : You're supposed to use your imagination, not have some computer do it for you. Gordo, why didn't you tell me there was a program like that?