Lizzie McGuire (TV Series)

Jack of All Trades (2001)

Hilary Duff: Lizzie McGuire

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lizzie McGuire : I give Mom and Dad props for that one. They convinced Matt to take back his name without humiliating him and the whole time, they respected his boundaries as an individual. As my mother likes to say, Matt was blissfully clueless which is kind of what Mr. Pettus was doing to Gordo which makes me wonder what kind of Jedi mind tricks are my teachers and parents working on me? Oh, well. I pretty much trust them. Maybe I'm better off not knowing.

• Lizzie McGuire : [about Gordo's paper]  Gordo, this is amazing.

  Gordo : Not really. I left out all the stuff about the Coriolis Effect. I figured why bother for a lousy "B."

  Lizzie McGuire : That grade has to be a mistake. This is an "A+" paper.

  Gordo : Maybe if it had your name on it.

  Lizzie McGuire : If it had my name on it, it'd be called "Our Friend the Ocean."

• Lizzie McGuire : How we feel? Doesn't that sound a little new-agey? Ooh, do I smell incense?

• Lizzie McGuire : Can I have a minute to process? I mean, if Gordo doesn't even get an "A" in science, what hope is there for the rest of us?

• Lizzie McGuire : The career aptitude test is supposed to tell you what career would be good for you.

  Jo McGuire : I took that test.

  Lizzie McGuire : You did?

  Sam McGuire : Oh, sure. We both did. Your mom was supposed to be a rock and roll diva with a world-renowned shoe collection.

  Lizzie McGuire : You gave all that up for us, Mom? Way to prioritize.

  Jo McGuire : Yep. Don't you forget it.

• Matt : Yo, Mom. What's up?

  Jo McGuire : You're not going to school like that. Go upstairs and change into something less Barnum and Bailey.

  Matt : Word. Can I at least wear my do-rag?

  Lizzie McGuire : Uh, I don't think Snoop wears cranberry.

• Lizzie McGuire : Gordo, I've been thinking about what I want to do since we took that test and I realized, I have no clue.

  Gordo : I thought you wanted to be a veterinarian.

  Lizzie McGuire : Hello, I was 7. I also pretended I was a horse.

• Miranda : I'm going to be a Navy SEAL?

  Lizzie McGuire : Cosmetologist?

  Gordo : Blackjack dealer?

• Miranda : Okay, there is no way I'm going to be a Navy SEAL. A, you have to get your hair wet. B, you have to get up early and C, you have to get your hair wet!

  Lizzie McGuire : Hmm, cosmetologist. I never really thought about it, although I do have a flair for french-braiding hair.

  Miranda : Yes, you do. Did I mention I'm not getting my hair wet?

  Gordo : Hey, Monica and Rachel. Can we talk about something besides hair? Like why I'm supposed to be a blackjack dealer.

• Lizzie McGuire : Matt, do you have any more markers? Matt!

  Matt : There's no one here named Matt.

  Lizzie McGuire : Fine. Yo, M-Dogg, hook me up with another marker.

  Matt : Nope. You called me you know what. You punked me. Now you must pay.

  Lizzie McGuire : Okay, Matt. I'm not joking. I have to finish my project.

  Matt : Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.

  Lizzie McGuire : M-Dogg, if you don't want your little homeys to know that you sleep on geeky, action hero sheets, hand over that marker, pronto!

  [Matt tosses the marker to Lizzie] 

  Lizzie McGuire : Much love, bro. Peace.

• Gordo : [about his science project]  This brain is mine. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. I built it, every lobe, every fissure. Me, yo, moi. While everyone else was at the water park trading Beanie Babies, I was slaving away like Igor and I can prove it. If you touch this button, the temporal lobe lights up. The temporal lobe controls your sense of hearing. I have great hearing. I know this because I'm the only one in this class who hears your lectures.

  Mr. Pettus : Now hold on.

  Gordo : And this one turns on the occipital lobe. The occipital lobe controls your sense of sight. Because of this lobe, you saw somebody else's project and gave away my "A-plus" to Madge the cosmetologist over there.

  Lizzie McGuire : Hey!

  Gordo : And this area is the frontal lobe. The frontal lobe controls higher intellectual functions and reasoning. For example, right now, my frontal lobe is telling me that I'm getting the shaft in this class, that I'm not getting the grades I deserve. It's telling me that the Man is trying to keep me down and that everyone is against me.

• Mr. Pettus : Chop chop, Miss McGuire. We'll talk about your plagarism later.

  Lizzie McGuire : Plagiarism?

  Mr. Pettus : That's what it's called when you turn in someone else's work and try to call it your own.

  Mr. Pettus : But I didn't. I didn't do it. I, I didn't mean it. I was just trying to help a friend. Um, is it too late to take the Fifth?