Lizzie McGuire (TV Series)

Jack of All Trades (2001)

Craig Anton: Mr. Pettus

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mr. Pettus : [to Gordo]  All right, Gorda, it's clear.

  Gordo : Gordo. Gorda's the big girl from ESL.

  Mr. Pettus : I may misspell your name, but I know your first project this year was an "A" minus. The rainforest terrarium.

  Gordo : My first and only "A" minus.

  Mr. Pettus : Yes, because your second project wasn't quite as good and neither was the one after that.

  Gordo : I'm sorry. I just didn't see the point in breaking my neck all year and not getting an "A."

  Mr. Pettus : You're supposed to be breaking your neck. I've been giving you B's to keep you from just sitting back and coasting.

  Gordo : I have not been coasting. I worked two weeks straight on that brain project.

  Mr. Pettus : You see? My technique is working.

• Mr. Pettus : [to Gordo]  Look, Mr. Gordon. I'm not trying to limit you to dealing blackjack or getting B's. I'm hoping your reach will always exceed your grasp, thereby elevating you and fulfilling your extraordinary potential even outside the gaming industry.

• Gordo : [about taking the career aptitude test]  They expect us to know the square root of 162, but don't think we can remember how to fill in the circle.

  Mr. Pettus : Save your cleverness for your project, Mr. Gordon.

• Gordo : [about his science project]  This brain is mine. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. I built it, every lobe, every fissure. Me, yo, moi. While everyone else was at the water park trading Beanie Babies, I was slaving away like Igor and I can prove it. If you touch this button, the temporal lobe lights up. The temporal lobe controls your sense of hearing. I have great hearing. I know this because I'm the only one in this class who hears your lectures.

  Mr. Pettus : Now hold on.

  Gordo : And this one turns on the occipital lobe. The occipital lobe controls your sense of sight. Because of this lobe, you saw somebody else's project and gave away my "A-plus" to Madge the cosmetologist over there.

  Lizzie McGuire : Hey!

  Gordo : And this area is the frontal lobe. The frontal lobe controls higher intellectual functions and reasoning. For example, right now, my frontal lobe is telling me that I'm getting the shaft in this class, that I'm not getting the grades I deserve. It's telling me that the Man is trying to keep me down and that everyone is against me.

• Mr. Pettus : Chop chop, Miss McGuire. We'll talk about your plagarism later.

  Lizzie McGuire : Plagiarism?

  Mr. Pettus : That's what it's called when you turn in someone else's work and try to call it your own.

  Mr. Pettus : But I didn't. I didn't do it. I, I didn't mean it. I was just trying to help a friend. Um, is it too late to take the Fifth?

• Gordo : Look, Mr. Pettus. It was my fault that Lizzie McGuire handed in my project. I was just trying to prove that it's impossible for me to get a fair grade from you.

  Mr. Pettus : Is that what you think?

  Gordo : Did you just miss my one-man show?

• Gordo : [to Mr. Pettus]  So If I had put my name on the brain, what grade would you have given me?

  Mr. Pettus : Well, I'd have to take points off for the explosion.

  Gordo : Understood.

  Mr. Pettus : But it's still an "A" plus. I know a student's best work when I see it.

  Gordo : This is insane!

  Mr. Pettus : Make of it what you will.

  Gordo : Well, if you think bad grades motivate me, then why didn't you just expel me? Maybe then I'd get my PhD.

  Mr. Pettus : If you had a student with the potential to do anything, how would you keep him motivated?

  Gordo : Potential to do anything? You make want to rethink that. According to the Career Aptitude Test, I'm just going to be a blackjack dealer.

  Mr. Pettus : Listen, when I took that test, the result said I was most suited for a career in animal husbandry entertainment.

  Gordo : What kind of career is that?

  Mr. Pettus : Do you know what a rodeo clown is?