- [first lines]
- [Pearl is hoovering while Howard reads a book]
- Pearl: 'Scuse me, is there anybody home? This is your captain speaking. We're approaching some turbulence.
- [turns off the hoover]
- Pearl: The house is on fire.
- Howard: Ah, that's nice.
- Pearl: I'm leaving you, Howard; I've had a better offer. It's not a very good offer, but it's better than the one I've got.
- [grabs the novel from Howard]
- Pearl: What is it with you and this book?
- Howard: It's terrific. He's so heroic.
- Pearl: Right up your street.
- Howard: The Adventures of El Lobo - the Wolf; the Smiling Bandit and his struggles against the oppressors of his people.
- Pearl: But can he clean a good window?
- Howard: He could have been me if I'd been born in South America. You can't do that kind of stuff round here. I bet they'd laugh if you wore a sombrero.
- [Pearl looks Howard over and laughs]
- Clegg: Don't think I'm being nosy, uh, just because I'm being nosy, but how come you've got a name like Entwistle?
- Entwistle: I changed my name, didn't I. From MacIntyre; I was forever being mistaken for a Scot.
- Truly: What are you then?
- Entwistle: I'm a Yorkshireman, what else?
- Clegg: So where does all this ancient eastern wisdom come from, then?
- Entwistle: Hull. I was born in Hull. As far east as you can get; any further you're in the Humber.
- Tom: I expect you're under the impression that I'm the Mr Simmonite who's normally to be found in this hut.
- Repo Man: I am under that impression, yes. Are you telling me you're *not* Mr Tom Simmonite?
- Tom: I can understand why. The resemblance is uncanny.
- Repo Man: Resemblance?
- Tom: Mmh, Between me and Mr Thomas Simmonite of no fixed abode, who, some say, is incllined to be tricky.
- Repo Man: That was probably me.
- Tom: I expect he's the one you want. I'd give you hes address, but I'd hate to feel responsible for sending you to him when there's a full moon.
- Repo Man: Full moon?
- Tom: That fat, white, round thing.