L.A. Law (TV Series)
Bound for Glory (1990)
Blair Underwood: Jonathan Rollins
Quotes
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Ray Breecher : I was shocked. They're running a frog jumping contests. It's supposed to be a legitimate thing. I show up with my frog and they won't let him jump.
Michael Roitman : What reason did they give for excluding you, sir?
Ray Breecher : And they say it was too big. Now there's nothing about size in the rules and suddenly they go too big. The fix had a be in.
Jonathan Rollins : Objection.
Judge Walter Green : Sustained.
Ray Breecher : I paid 1,300 bucks for this frog, plus travel.
Michael Roitman : Plus travel?
Ray Breecher : I had him flown in from Africa. There's a lot of paperwork to be done on that, I tell you.
Michael Roitman : You also put him to, uh, rigorous training camp, did you not?
Ray Breecher : And we did sprints, jumps, squats, big hops, little hops, and I even put him on his little wheel for aerobic conditioning.
[Scoffs]
Ray Breecher : I tell you, I push that frog.
Michael Roitman : How much does this, uh, arbitrary disqualification cost you, sir?
Ray Breecher : The winner gets 40,000, which would have been mine. You get an extra 10 grand for setting a record, which my frog could have done on one leg, easy.
Michael Roitman : I have nothing further, sir.
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Jonathan Rollins : Are you real concerned with fairness, Mr. Breecher?
Ray Breecher : What's a contest without fairness? Yeah.
Jonathan Rollins : 4 years ago, you attempted to enter a tiny but long leaping run toad, didn't you?
Ray Breecher : Well, I look like a frog. I was mistaken.
Jonathan Rollins : And 2 years ago, you're winning entry tested positive for cocaine, did it not?
Ray Breecher : I don't know how he got the drugs. Frog had a life.
Jonathan Rollins : Mr. Breecher, your reptile has been known to... to eat small rats.
Michael Roitman : Objection, Your Honor, it is not a reptile. It is an amphibian.
Judge Walter Green : Sustained.
Jonathan Rollins : How large is your amphibian, sir?
Ray Breecher : It's big.
Jonathan Rollins : Exactly, how big?
Ray Breecher : How? With legs extended, I'd say he was about 3 ft. long.
Judge Walter Green : 3 ft.?
Ray Breecher : That's one big mother frog.
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Gretchen Wynn : It wasn't that his frog would have won. I don't know it would've even budged. It was very obese.
Jonathan Rollins : Why did you disqualify it?
Gretchen Wynn : Because it was dangerous. He's trying to enter this giant African thing with teeth, and I had to be concerned for the other frogs.
Michael Roitman : Come on, Your Honor.
Judge Walter Green : Mr. Roitman.
Gretchen Wynn : It's true. The people spend a lot of money on them. They're like pampered athletes. And if one of them gets eaten by his entrant, then we've got a lawsuit on our hands.
Michael Roitman : Move to strike, Your Honor, there's no evidence that my client's frog eats it's competition.
Judge Walter Green : Denied.
Gretchen Wynn : I'm sorry, but the committee couldn't consider this a normal frog within the spirit of the rules. And we felt that disqualification was warranted.
Jonathan Rollins : Thank you, Mrs. Wynn.
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Michael Roitman : Mrs. Wynn. Uh, Ms. Wynn. Are there, uh, rules guiding these competitions?
Gretchen Wynn : There are.
Michael Roitman : Do these rules limit the size of the entrance?
Gretchen Wynn : Who would've thought they could get so big?
Michael Roitman : Is it not true, Mrs. Wynn, that you disqualified my client's frog because you knew that would break the world's record? You didn't want to be on the hook for extra 10 grand?
Gretchen Wynn : Not true. That frog was fat, and languid, and it probably wouldn't have budged.
Ray Breecher : You lying cheat.
Jonathan Rollins : Objection.
Ray Breecher : It jumps huge!
Judge Walter Green : Hey, Mr. Breecher.
Gretchen Wynn : We also suspected steroids.
Michael Roitman : Objection, Your Honor.
Ray Breecher : Defamation of character, Judge.
Judge Walter Green : That's enough. All right, I wanna see this thing. Can you bring it in here?
Gretchen Wynn : In a truck, maybe.
Judge Walter Green : Mrs. Wynn, I'm going to lose my patience.
Michael Roitman : Uh, yes, Your Honor. We can have said frog here, uh, in the A.M.
Judge Walter Green : Good. I want to see if it's really a frog. And I want to see if it jumps. Have it here at 10:00 tomorrow morning.
[Judge Green puts his glasses back on, and warned Mr. Breecher, remember to stay clean and drug-free without steroids]
Judge Walter Green : Drug-free. We're adjourned.
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[the first day of a new incoming Senior Partner as the first woman to be in charge in the law offices meeting is Rosalind Shays since she was elected last week]
Stuart Markowitz : Ann.
Rosalind Shays : Douglas, I think everybody's here. Why don't you get started?
[And every people seated. Douglas bring his coffee and opened his time on his pocket watch, beginning the meeting of today in the morning]
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Okay. People vs. Lassen.
Abby Perkins : Joel Lassen's been busted for possession again. Arraignments tomorrow.
Rosalind Shays : Why are we in this?
Arnie Becker : Because he's Abe Lassen's son.
Rosalind Shays : Say no more.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Breecher vs Wynn.
Jonathan Rollins : That's mine. Our client packages county fairs. The main event of one of them is a frog-jumping contest. There was prize money involved, and one enterprising entrant, got himself something called an African Goliath frog.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : An African Goliath frog.
Jonathan Rollins : Yeah. It was ruled ineligible hence the suit.
Rosalind Shays : I understand that there's appeal in things novel and strange. I also understand that as an attorneys, we need to amuse ourselves. But quite frankly, what I can't countenance are the sort of indulgences that hurt us.
Victor Sifuentes : How does this hurt us?
Rosalind Shays : It costs us. It makes us look foolish. What I'm saying, Jonathan, is that I think you're to have to be more selective of the kinds of cases he take on.
Leland McKenzie : Actually, he didn't take on the case, Rosalind. I did.
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[Rosalind is waiting. Move on the next quorum. Arnie looked quiet. Leland is waiting, too]
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Moving along. Jackson vs. Haas.
Ann Kelsey : That's mine. A young black boy was kicked to death by a skinhead. We're suing the skinhead's parents.
Arnie Becker : Why?
Ann Kelsey : Why? Because a kid doesn't become a racist thug in the vacuum.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : But suing the parents? To me, this utter litigiousness. It's... it's looking to the courts for a payday.
Jonathan Rollins : It's looking to the courts to fight bigotry, like... like Brown vs. Board of Education. Was that utter litigiousness?
Rosalind Shays : What was the age of the defendant's son at the time of killing, Ann?
Ann Kelsey : He was 15, Rosalind.
Rosalind Shays : I think that's young enough to infer parental liabilities. Good luck.
[Stuart is next soon]
Rosalind Shays : Move along, Douglas.
[Douglas is waiting, Leland holding his address note book]
Rosalind Shays : I said, why don't we move along?
[Meeting is adjourned]
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Ray Breecher : Okay, Richard, inhale, and leap. Come on, boy. Inhale. I just had breakfast, Your Honor, so...
Gretchen Wynn : Probably a donut.
Michael Roitman : Objection, Your Honor. May I ask the defendant to cease the harassment during this demonstration?
Judge Walter Green : What demonstration? It looks dead to me.
Ray Breecher : He's gathering himself, Your Honor. He's not ready to jump. Look at his eyes.
Judge Walter Green : Oh, for God's sake.
Michael Roitman : Oh, no, I can see it.
Jonathan Rollins : Hey, he's sticking him with a pin.
Ray Breecher : Prodders are allowed.
Judge Walter Green : Oh, just get on with it, would you?
Gretchen Wynn : I told you, it doesn't jump.
[Then watch Ray do the demonstration when he kick the frog and have Richard the frog jump higher to take off and landed on Judge Green]
Judge Walter Green : Yaah!
Michael Roitman : He's attacking the judge!
Gretchen Wynn : Look at the teeth.
Ray Breecher : [Frog croaked] I told you to sit! Stay! Stay right there!
Gretchen Wynn : It's vicious. It's a vicious frog.
Judge Walter Green : Get this thing now!
Ray Breecher : [Ray got his pet frog Richard] I got him. I got him, Your Honor. Oh, uh, I think he pulled another muscle.
Ray Breecher : Ask you've recuse yourself, Your Honor.
Judge Walter Green : Forget it. I'm going to take this stupid thing under advisement. I want everybody back here at 2:00 tomorrow.
[Richard the frog croaking]
Judge Walter Green : Oh, for God's sake.
[Judge Green heads back to his chambers and closed the door. Frog ribbit. The crowds are laughing. Jonathan felt dejected]