- Tino: Well I've been thinking, you know, school's for kids and all, but I think I can do ok with computers, once I learn to read.
- Michael Knight: I love Christmas. The lights, trees, music, the whole spiritual season makes me feel great.
- K.I.T.T.: It confuses me. What could a portly man in a red suit positively have to do with the birth of a religious leader?
- Michael Knight: Kitt, Christmas is a time for giving and a time for love and Santa is the greatest giver of them all. Speaking of giving, I'm a bit perplexed about what to get you. Being a car, it is rather difficult to know what's appropriate.
- K.I.T.T.: Anything but pajamas, cheap cologne, ties and argyle socks. Especially argyle socks.
- Michael Knight: [re Tino] A kid his age and his sister isn't going to be much of a match for three bank robbers.
- K.I.T.T.: The frequency of the oil spots seem to be growing rather than diminishing, Michael.
- Michael Knight: Just keep your nose to the black top, buddy.
- K.I.T.T.: And to think that some poor animals are forced to do this for a living.
- April Curtis: [on viewscreen] Michael, just what are you up to?
- Michael Knight: Nothing. Well, not much, at least. I ran into a gypsy kid who was a witness to a robbery. He and his sister...
- April Curtis: His sister? Yeah, I should have known.
- Michael Knight: April, it's not like it sounds.
- April Curtis: Michael, now you know how seriously Devon takes the annual Christmas banquet. Now he's seated you between Lady Pinwall and the dutches s of Chipstead. So please remember, he's counting on you.
- April Curtis: Oh, I'll be there, sure as St. Nick.
- Michael Knight: For your sake I hope you are, St. Nick.
- K.I.T.T.: [re Tino] That's it, Michael, I can't tolerate the antics of this little hellion a second longer!