- Maya Gallo: No offense, but why would she be go out with a little rat like you?
- Dennis Finch: None taken. God.
- Nina Van Horn: God?
- Dennis Finch: Yes. He's finally making up for all the injustices. Having to sit o a phone book for my driver's license exam, not shaving until I was 28... He's taken it all away, and that's how it's gonna stay!
- Maya Gallo: You don't think Adrienne will really go out with you, do you?
- Dennis Finch: You're right. We're practically different species. I'm not ever sure we could mate.
- Maya Gallo: This is about your friend Barry, isn't it?
- Dennis Finch: Yes. When I show up with Adrienne, it'll be a swift kick in his nut bins.
- Nina Van Horn: Adrenne, we're ready for make-up. Are you feeling all right?
- Adrienne Barker: Not really.
- Nina Van Horn: Well, did you eat breakfast?
- Adrienne Barker: Yes.
- Nina Van Horn: Well, there's your problem right there.
- Maya Gallo: Wait a minute, you had that same look on your face two years ago. You had sex, didn't you?
- Nina Van Horn: You had sex with Adrienne?
- Dennis Finch: Please, stop being so crude. Made love... four times!
- Maya Gallo: I thought you were going to tell him.
- Elliot DiMauro: I tried, but he just insulted me.
- Maya Gallo: So you're just going to let him become a national joke?
- Elliot DiMauro: That was the idea, yes.
- Nina Van Horn: Then it's settled.
- Dennis Finch: Come on, Rhonda. It's not like we'll be in a date.
- Rhonda: But you'll be there.
- Dennis Finch: Yes.
- Rhonda: That's the part I can't get past.
- Barry: Hey, little T.
- Maya Gallo: Little T?
- Dennis Finch: They called me that because I was a badass like Mr. T.
- Barry: Yeah, right! T is for T-shirt. He never took his off for swim practice.
- Maya Gallo: Really?
- Dennis Finch: My skin is sensitive to the sun's harmful rays.
- Barry: It was an indoor pool.
- Barry: So what do they have you doing around here?
- Dennis Finch: I'm chief of staff. Uh, kind of upper management problem solver...
- Jack Gallo: Dennis, get me a doughnut. Oh, and Dennis, make sure they don't overdo it with the hole. I'm not paying for air.
- Elliot DiMauro: You're waiting for your boyfriend to come back from work. You give him that look that makes him want you.
- [Adrienne starts crying]
- Nina Van Horn: What kind of sick crap is she into?
- Elliot DiMauro: McDonald's the toughest player in the league. Remember, Finch? We were at that game and he coldcocked a guy with a stick?
- Nina Van Horn: Don't you expect that in a hockey game?
- Elliot DiMauro: Not when it's Nathan Lane singing "O, Canada."
- [looking at the painting Jack wants to be photographed with, "Self Reliance"]
- Maya Gallo: I kinda see it. There's his head, there's his shoulder... What's that he's holding?
- Elliot DiMauro: It's too small to be a fishing pole.
- Nina Van Horn, Maya Gallo, Elliot DiMauro: Oh, my God!
- Nina Van Horn: I was just going to say he's too happy to be fishing.
- Maya Gallo: Well, at least he's being self reliant.