Laura San Giacomo: Maya Gallo

Quotes 

• [phone rings; Dennis answers] 

  Dennis Finch : Jack Gallo's office.... Hey, boss. How did it go?... All right!

  Dennis Finch : [to Maya]  They had the baby.

  Maya Gallo : Yeah, well, congratulations.

  Dennis Finch : [to Jack]  Maya says, "Congratulations," but it's in a tone that connotes disinterest.... Whew!

  Dennis Finch : [to Maya]  Eight pounds, twelve ounces.

  Maya Gallo : Ouch.

  Dennis Finch : [to Jack]  She's making sport of your courageous wife's pain....

  Dennis Finch : [to Maya]  Blue eyes, dark hair, great lungs.

  Maya Gallo : Just like Elvis.

  Dennis Finch : [to Jack]  She's comparing the baby to a bloated drug addict.

  [Maya walks away] 

  Dennis Finch : [to Maya]  Hey, it's a girl: You got a sister.

  Maya Gallo : A sister? She's not my sister.... Oh, my god. She's my sister. I have a sister.

  Dennis Finch : [to Jack]  Now she's just babbling.

• [Nina selects "no-yes-yes-no-no-no" from a line of models; she comes to Maya and mistakes her for a prospective model] 

  Nina Van Horn : Honey, I don't know who your agent is, but you need to grow six inches, lose twenty pounds, and find a hairdresser who gave up cocaine with everyone else.

  [Nina turns to walk away] 

  Maya Gallo : Excuse me - do you own this magazine?

  Nina Van Horn : No, that would be Mr. Gallo.

  Maya Gallo : And I would be Mr. Gallo's daughter.

• Nina Van Horn : You know, dear, you can understand why I didn't recognize you. I mean, there is virtually no resemblance.

  Maya Gallo : Go away.

  Nina Van Horn : Ah, there it is.

• Jack Gallo : When are you going to accept the fact that Allie and I are very much in love?

  Maya Gallo : "Very much in love"? Is there a special room where the models go to throw up?

  Jack Gallo : Here we go! It's my wedding all over again.

  Maya Gallo : What?

  Jack Gallo : Don't play innocent - you were heckling our wedding vows.

  Maya Gallo : You let the woman quote *The Lion King!*

• Maya Gallo : [shaking Dennis' hand]  Hello, I'm Maya.

  Dennis Finch : Ah, well, "bye-a."

  Maya Gallo : Uh, no. I'm here to see Jack Gallo.

  Dennis Finch : And I'm here to make sure you don't. Next time, call for an appointment; that way I can reject you on the phone, and then you won't have to get all gussied up.

• Dennis Finch : Hey hey, oh, you're Jack's daughter - you babe. Dennis Finch, Jack's executive assistant. His right-hand man. Actually, he's more like a father to me.

  Maya Gallo : Ah, then you haven't seen him in a year either.

• Jack Gallo : Maya!

  Maya Gallo : Surprise.

  Jack Gallo : Yeah, it sure is. Come on in. Don't you have a birthday coming up?

  Maya Gallo : Yeah, in about eleven-and-a-half months.

  Jack Gallo : Good - I was afraid I missed it.

• Nina Van Horn : Maya, dear, I understand you're writing this month's relationship column. Can I peek?

  Elliot DiMauro : You peaked years ago, honey.

  Nina Van Horn : So, is this article the first of many?

  Maya Gallo : I doubt it; it's called, "My Father Is A Jackass."

• Elliot DiMauro : Look at these photos; see if any of them will go with your article.

  Maya Gallo : [looking]  God! Could her dress get any higher?

  Elliot DiMauro : No. Her mother was there.

• [discussing the evils of the fashion industry] 

  Elliot DiMauro : All I'm saying is that we're not the enemy. We just like looking at beautiful things.

  Maya Gallo : And who decides what's beautiful?

  Elliot DiMauro : Oh, I do! That's the best part.

• Maya Gallo : So, have you two picked out a name?

  Jack Gallo : We're in negotiations. I want "Hannah," after your grandmother, and Allie wants "Morgan."

  Maya Gallo : "Morgan" was our high school quarterback. Allie lost her virginity to him.

  Jack Gallo : "Hannah" it is.