Joan of Arcadia (TV Series)

The Fire and the Wood (2003)

Bob Clendenin: Linesman God

Quotes 

• Linesman God : Stop underachieving. Stop squandering the potential I gave you. Have some pride.

  Joan : What about humility?

  Linesman God : Humility isn't actually humility unless there's something you're good enough at to be humble about.

• [the previous night God had appeared on TV and Joan's father turned off the TV] 

  Linesman God : Hey kid, it's me. You need proof? Fine. Sometimes you like to practice french kissing yourself in the mirror.

  Joan : Why do you have to be so mean? Look, that was my Dad who turned you off last night, so if there's some kind of penalty, then I think...

  Linesman God : Fine. He shall spend all of eternity burning in hell.

  Joan : No, no, no, no, my dad's a really great guy.

  Linesman God : I'm kidding. There's no penalty for turning me off. Hey, just because I speak doesn't mean anyone has to listen.

  Joan : Really?

  Linesman God : Yeah. Free will is one of my better innovations. I-I give suggestions, not assignments.

  Joan : I feel a suggestion coming on.