Joan of Arcadia (TV Series)
The Cat (2004)
Mary Steenburgen: Helen Girardi
Quotes
-
Helen Girardi : [after Olive has a stroke] She was supposed to go to the Canary Islands next week for a Silbo language class.
Will Girardi : A what?
Helen Girardi : The language is all whistling. Apparently, there are over 4,000 words in...
Will Girardi : Forget it. There's nothing about her that's ever gonna make any sense to me.
-
Helen Girardi : Are you sure crickets are edible?
Aunt Olive : Mmm! In the Kanchanaburi province in Thailand, it's a delicacy.
Helen Girardi : Well, in Arcadia, they're exterminated.
Aunt Olive : Oh, Helen, come on, live a little. I learned this recipe from a Thai chef who said that crickets kept him vital. Over 90, still having sex like a rabbit.
Luke Girardi : I'll try one.
Kevin Girardi : Me, too.
Helen Girardi : Oh, God.
-
Aunt Olive : I don't know how you lead such a sheltered life.
Helen Girardi : Not eating bugs makes me sheltered?
Aunt Olive : I always told my sister not to coddle you so much.
Helen Girardi : Oh. Was that before or after she had to send you money to get you out of Burma?
-
Joan Girardi : Introducing the newest Girardi, Larry the cat.
Helen Girardi : You got a cat?
Joan Girardi : Yeah.
Aunt Olive : It's wild, isn't it?
Joan Girardi : Uh, yeah.
Aunt Olive : Well, get rid of it. They can't be tamed.
Joan Girardi : No, the-the pamphlet shows you how to domesticate them.
Kevin Girardi : Tell that to Siegfried.
Luke Girardi : No, I think it was Roy.
-
Luke Girardi : Have a cricket. Good for sex.
Helen Girardi : Luke.
Adam Rove : I'm going in.
Aunt Olive : Oh, good for you.
Joan Girardi : Ew! This is like Arcadia "Fear Factor".
-
Will Girardi : I did something horrible today.
Helen Girardi : What?
Will Girardi : Oh, a work thing. Believe me, I'd rather have eaten the crickets.
-
Helen Girardi : I've been thinking...
Will Girardi : Oh, that's when I get concerned.
Helen Girardi : I think we have to take in Olive. Just until she can take care of herself again.
Will Girardi : Helen, this is a woman who stays in a motel when she visits because she doesn't approve of how we live. Let her yell at the people at the rehab place. They get paid for that.
Helen Girardi : Will...
Will Girardi : How can you possibly think this could ever work out?
Helen Girardi : I don't know. I saw Joan with that horrible cat...
Will Girardi : Okay, fine, if we keep Olive in a cage.
Helen Girardi : Will, the house is already set up for someone in a wheelchair. We know how to care for someone who's disabled. She sat with my mother when she was dying, transformed the hospital room, made it look just like her bedroom at home. I... she's family. Don't we have to?
-
Helen Girardi : I asked her to stay with us. How could I talk to her like that?
Will Girardi : The doctor said the stroke wouldn't affect her mental acuity or speech. What did you expect?
Helen Girardi : Well, I expected to not yell at an old lady who just had a stroke. I called her a bitch.
Will Girardi : I know. I almost cheered.
-
Will Girardi : I'm putting on my pants and my trusty garlic sensor starts going nuts.
Aunt Olive : We made paella!
Will Girardi : We?
Aunt Olive : Will, no cracks or you don't get any.
Will Girardi : You really have the recipe?
Helen Girardi : You can torture me all you want. I'm not giving it up.