Joan of Arcadia (TV Series)

The Cat (2004)

Joe Mantegna: Will Girardi

Quotes 

• Will Girardi : [seeing Joan's bandaged nose]  What happened to your nose?

  Luke Girardi : Her cat has a problem with Edmond Rostand.

  Will Girardi : Why do I ask?

• Helen Girardi : [after Olive has a stroke]  She was supposed to go to the Canary Islands next week for a Silbo language class.

  Will Girardi : A what?

  Helen Girardi : The language is all whistling. Apparently, there are over 4,000 words in...

  Will Girardi : Forget it. There's nothing about her that's ever gonna make any sense to me.

• Will Girardi : Are you kidding? You're a walking pantry.

  Det. Carlisle : Chimichanga. I need something more substantial when I'm nervous.

• Will Girardi : Duncan and Simmons, good cops, pointed a finger at Undersheriff Roebuck for the Wallace fire. Roebuck pointed a finger at them. We got caught in the middle. Now, there's no way in hell that Roy Roebuck started that fire. We're here because we don't have any choice.

  Lieutenant Lucy Preston : Of course. We'll need detailed statements, case files on the shooting, death reports...

  Will Girardi : [handing over a stack of folders]  Will there be anything else?

  Lieutenant Lucy Preston : There always is.

• Will Girardi : I did something horrible today.

  Helen Girardi : What?

  Will Girardi : Oh, a work thing. Believe me, I'd rather have eaten the crickets.

• Helen Girardi : I've been thinking...

  Will Girardi : Oh, that's when I get concerned.

  Helen Girardi : I think we have to take in Olive. Just until she can take care of herself again.

  Will Girardi : Helen, this is a woman who stays in a motel when she visits because she doesn't approve of how we live. Let her yell at the people at the rehab place. They get paid for that.

  Helen Girardi : Will...

  Will Girardi : How can you possibly think this could ever work out?

  Helen Girardi : I don't know. I saw Joan with that horrible cat...

  Will Girardi : Okay, fine, if we keep Olive in a cage.

  Helen Girardi : Will, the house is already set up for someone in a wheelchair. We know how to care for someone who's disabled. She sat with my mother when she was dying, transformed the hospital room, made it look just like her bedroom at home. I... she's family. Don't we have to?

• Helen Girardi : I asked her to stay with us. How could I talk to her like that?

  Will Girardi : The doctor said the stroke wouldn't affect her mental acuity or speech. What did you expect?

  Helen Girardi : Well, I expected to not yell at an old lady who just had a stroke. I called her a bitch.

  Will Girardi : I know. I almost cheered.

• Will Girardi : I'm putting on my pants and my trusty garlic sensor starts going nuts.

  Aunt Olive : We made paella!

  Will Girardi : We?

  Aunt Olive : Will, no cracks or you don't get any.

  Will Girardi : You really have the recipe?

  Helen Girardi : You can torture me all you want. I'm not giving it up.