Joan of Arcadia (TV Series)

Romancing the Joan (2005)

Amber Tamblyn: Joan Girardi

Quotes 

• Grace Polk : [leaving class]  I think I actually lost body mass from boredom.

  Joan Girardi : I can't believe I'm looking forward to seeing Mrs. Gross. I even miss her mole.

• Substitute Teacher God : How can you not be interested in Romantic poetry, Joan, with your imagination? I like that you made yourself a record producer.

  Joan Girardi : God shouldn't be boring. And you're in my daydreams? That's worse than spying.

  Substitute Teacher God : Why don't you do the extra credit assignment?

  Joan Girardi : What for? This is my good class.

  Substitute Teacher God : Because you might learn something, you might enjoy it, and because I'm asking you to.

  Joan Girardi : Yeah, but those first two don't really matter, do they?

  [seeing her expression, she sighs] 

  Joan Girardi : What is it? I'm already late for lunch.

  [reading the assignment on the blackboard] 

  Joan Girardi : "Choose a poem by Byron, Shelley, or Keats. Analyze and explain." Wow. I almost fell asleep just saying that.

• Joan Girardi : I just don't get it. Well, these poems are supposed to be romantic, but they're all about death.

  Luke Girardi : Death is romantic.

  Grace Polk : Especially when there's blood.

  Luke Girardi : Or a plague.

  Grace Polk : Yep.

  Joan Girardi : [sarcastic]  Why haven't we double-dated?

• Joan Girardi : I didn't know Adam had an assistant.

  Adam Rove : Oh, it just happened, you know? I put an ad in the school paper.

  Stevie Marx : And I'm so stoked.

  Adam Rove : Yeah, and she's gonna help me out with my design shop stuff.

  Stevie Marx : Plus, I get two whole art credits for hanging around and watching him be a genius.

  Joan Girardi : Aw, I do that for free.

• Adam Rove : Jane, don't go there. She's on the spirit squad, okay? She has the Hello Kitty stuff.

  Joan Girardi : You never mentioned needing an assistant. I could have helped you.

  Adam Rove : When? You're busier than I am.

• Adam Rove : So, are we doing physics study group today?

  Joan Girardi : I can't. I'm getting tutored in English. Extra credit.

  Adam Rove : Tutored? I thought you were doing okay in English.

  Joan Girardi : Well, apparently I could do better.

  Grace Polk : What is with all this trying, Girardi? You're like a stranger to me.

• Joan Girardi : [reading a book of poetry]  Honestly, how much worse are the Backstreet Boys?

  Roger : You're taking it out of context, and reading it like you're on NyQuil.

  Joan Girardi : But they're so seriously dull! I mean, just tell me how to write the paper.

  Roger : And let you miss the point of Byron? Couldn't live with myself.

• Geek God : Dreams influence and accentuate life, but they don't define it.

  Joan Girardi : Wait. You were the one that told me to study romantic poetry.

  Geek God : Study it, yes, so that you can understand it. Differentiate.

  Joan Girardi : Am... am I losing Adam?

  Geek God : People don't really belong to each other, Joan, regardless of what contract they sign. They choose each other every day. But if you're worried, why don't you just ask him?

• Little Girl God : [reading a fairytale book in the bookstore]  "And they all lived happily ever after." There's a surprise. You guys really like that ending.

  Joan Girardi : Yeah well, you have a better one?

  Little Girl God : They move towards spiritual growth and enlightenment?

  Joan Girardi : Yeah that's gonna work with the kids.

  Little Girl God : Ever notice that the guy has to risk his life and the girl is nearly dead when he finds her? it takes a kiss to wake her up and they ride off together. It's a nice metaphor.

  Joan Girardi : For what?

  Little Girl God : Death and resurrection.

  Joan Girardi : Yeah, well that's a fun party game.

  Little Girl God : It happens all the time. The illusion dies so something deeper can take its place.

  Joan Girardi : Are you saying that Adam and I are just an illusion?

  Little Girl God : Romance serves a purpose. It's a meditative state. It puts logic to sleep so people can come together. Otherwise you guys probably wouldn't risk it.

  Joan Girardi : Why did you have to make love so complicated? I mean, couldn't that one thing have been easy?

  Little Girl God : Love is big. It's a bright light in the universe. And a bright light casts a big shadow. So what do you want to do Joan?

  Joan Girardi : How am I supposed to know?

  Little Girl God : [hands Joan the book]  By looking at it. Real love is hard work. You have to decide if you want it in your story or if you'd rather just stay in the dream.