- Joan: Go Eagles, go eagles!/Go, go, go Eagles!/ We live to cheer/we're so sincere/unless you get in trouble/then we're out of here/It's such a royal pain when a friend gets arrested/How could I have known? How could I have guessed it?/It's not like she's my sister/whoops, is that my beeper?/Even if she were/am I my sister's keeper?/Sorry, gotta go/ Try-outs are today/Tell we'll think of her every time we say/ Go Eagles! Go Eagles!/ Go, go, go Eagles!/My name is Joan/this cheer is my own/so kiss my feathers/'cause this bird has flown.
- [angrily mouths "thank you"]
- Joan: Well I can't do any stunts. No, no, and how about the jumps? So, so. So why am I here, well it's really odd, but I'm here to cheer on a mission from God. So put me in the game or leave me on the bench, so you can go to heaven and I'll get out of French.
- Adam: Oh, Jane, glad I caught you here. This is for good luck.
- [Adam gives her a piece of art that looks like a cheerleader... Well, sort of]
- Joan: Adam... Well, thank you, but I already tried out.
- Adam: I missed it? No way, man.
- Joan: Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's okay... Sorry, But thanks for the...
- Adam: It's a cheerleader. You know, it's got the little hairy things.
- Joan: Pompoms? Cool.
- Adam: I can't believe I missed it, though. How'd it go?
- Joan: Uh... well, ha ha. I can definitely say I'm not going to be a cheerleader.
- Adam: Why not? They didn't like you?
- Joan: Wow... I always thought you'd hate me if I was a cheerleader.
- Adam: No way. Why?
- Joan: 'Cause we're sub-defectives, and that would be like deserting the army or something.
- Adam: Oh. No, I don't care if you're a cheerleader or sub-defective or whatever. I just like hanging out with you 'cause you're Jane.
- Joan: Joan.
- Homeless Man God: Be not afraid, Joan.
- Joan: Be not afraid? What's with that?
- Homeless Man God: Sometimes I like to sound old-timey.
- Helen Girardi: There'd be a list of "bad girls" circulating around the school!
- Will: We'd never have let that out.
- Helen Girardi: The CIA couldn't keep a list like that from getting out in a high school!
- Will: [cooking breakfast] Oh, yeah. That's what I'm talking about.
- [Luke grates cheese into the pan]
- Will: Come on, cheese that baby up.
- Luke Girardi: Dad, seriously.
- Will: Let's go. I'm late on the polenta. You got the mushrooms?
- Luke Girardi: In the sink.
- Will: You washed them?
- Luke Girardi: They're fungus. They grow in dirt.
- Will: Have I taught you nothing?
- Kevin Girardi: [entering] It's not easy training the new apprentice, is it?
- Will: Hey, you're not off duty, pal. I need you to set the table.
- Helen Girardi: Am I the only one noticing there's a meal about to be served here?
- Will: Grazzie bella.
- Helen Girardi: [to Kevin, Luke, and Joan, respectively] You can miss some of the game, the park will will be open in half an hour, and you are going to defy convention and be a girl who eats. Now, everybody sit!
- Will: I love it when you do that.
- Det. Toni Williams: We couldn't get any prints off the bookbag, but the baby was wrapped in the type of paper towls you find in public restrooms.
- Will: Well, that narrows it down. Two safe havens within a mile of the dumpster; a hospital and St. Clements Church. Why not deposit the child there? What's wrong with this country? What use is the safe haven law when babies keep showing up in the garbage?
- Det. Toni Williams: Most mothers who abandon their newborns are young girls, so they either don't know about the safe haven law, or more likely, they're in deep denial about their situation. They're unable to acknowledge the pregnancy to themselves or anyone else. I mean, it's not just a coping mechanism. It's clinical denial.
- [noticing a thought strike Will]
- Det. Toni Williams: Chief. I was trying to impress you with my psychological insight.
- Will: No, I heard you. Young girls, a bookbag, institutional paper towels. What's that add up to?
- Det. Toni Williams: High school.
- Will: We haven't even found the girl, and you've laid attempted murder charges?
- D.A. Gabe Fellowes: I have to take a stand, send a message. In this town, justice reacts swiftly when a child's life is in danger.
- Will: We have reason to believe the mother is a child. You were a huge supporter of the safe haven law. This is exactly the kind of person that law was intended to protect.
- D.A. Gabe Fellowes: The safe haven law was intended to protect the baby, not the mother. We gave these women the opportunity to leave an infant, no questions asked, at any number of public places. If they still insist on leaving their babies to die...
- Will: She made a call.
- D.A. Gabe Fellowes: That's the difference between you and me, Will. I don't have sympathy for a baby killer. I don't think a jury will, either.
- Will: Small detail: the baby isn't dead.
- D.A. Gabe Fellowes: Look at it this way. The girls at Arcadia High School who didn't know about the safe haven law before, they sure as hell know about it now. You should be behind this. Your daughter attends Arcadia High, doesn't she?
- Joan: Okay, now who took my phone?
- Luke Girardi: Yeah, see? She's the one with the communication devices. Ask her.
- Joan: Ask me what?
- Kevin Girardi: Which girl at school got knocked up and left her baby in a dumpster.
- Helen Girardi: Kevin.
- Joan: And what makes you think I would know who it is?
- Will: We're not saying that you do.
- Helen Girardi: But if you heard anything at school...
- Luke Girardi: Shouldn't there have been some sort of visual clue?
- Kevin Girardi: Not if she's a fat chick.
- Helen Girardi: Who are you people?
- Joan: I don't tell you about cheerleading, therefore I must be pregnant?
- Helen Girardi: Nobody said anything...
- Luke Girardi: Cheerleading?
- Kevin Girardi: Who-who's pregnant?
- Helen Girardi: No one's pregnant. Right?
- Joan: [in disgust] Mom!
- Kevin Girardi: Is Joan having sex?
- Will: Could we get off this line of questioning, please?
- Joan: This is why I don't tell you anything.
- Homeless Man God: Listen, I want you to try out for the cheerleaders.
- Joan: You mean at school?
- Homeless Man God: I'm not asking you to join the Laker Girls. Of course. You know, cheerleaders at high school.
- Joan: Do, uh... do you realize that you're asking me to commit social suicide? Not only will I suck, which... which I will, but everybody will decide that I'm a pathetic fluffhead.
- Homeless Man God: Tryouts are Monday.
- Joan: Monday? I-I'm supposed to get this together by Monday? Should I provide my own pompoms? I don't even know what the school mascot is!
- Helen Girardi: Brianna's boyfriend is Rex Doherty.
- Will: So?
- Helen Girardi: Son of Councilman Max Doherty.
- Will: [realizing why Fellowes dropped the case] And you never found that worth mentioning?
- Helen Girardi: Nobody ever asked about the father.
- Joan: Hey.
- Brianna Matthews: Hey. My dad's inside getting papers. I'm switching to another school, because everyone thinks it'll be better that way.
- Joan: Brianna, are you okay?
- Brianna Matthews: You're the only one who's asked me that. You're the only one who's talked to me at all. CeCe and the others, they walked by like they didn't even see me. They did see me.
- Brianna's Dad: [getting in the car] Say goodbye to your friend, honey.
- Brianna Matthews: Bye.
- Joan: It's gonna be okay.
- Will: How could you not tell me about this Brianna girl when I asked you straight out?
- Joan: What are you talking about?
- Will: Is it so important to be liked that you would protect someone who did this?
- Joan: I didn't protect anyone! God. I can't believe you.
- Will: I understand about wanting friends. I do.
- Joan: It's not like that. Nobody knew anything.
- Will: How could you not know? How could all these people in her life be so blind?
- Joan: Oh, so now it's my fault?
- Will: That's not what I'm saying.
- Joan: Dad, if I knew anything, I would've told you.
- Will: Every day, I see people doing stupid, destructive things and ruining their lives, all because nobody's watching out for them. I'm not gonna just stand by...
- Joan: How did I become the criminal?
- Will: I'm saying I don't want you to get so wrapped up in these girls that you don't see...
- Joan: But I do see. I see all the same stuff you do every day at school. The drugs and the sex and people breaking the law and ruining their lives, only I'm not having sex, I'm not doing drugs, and I don't lie to my dad!
- Joan: Why are you hounding me? I'm doing the whole cheer thing. Isn't that what you wanted?
- Sidewalk Vendor God: Cute how you think I want you to skip World History.
- [handing her a stack of leaflets]
- Sidewalk Vendor God: Here, help me hand these out.
- Joan: Look, Brianna and CeCe don't just ask everybody to do these pre-tryout smoothies.
- Sidewalk Vendor God: What is it with you people? I-I give you very simple instructions and boom, you're right back to false gods.
- Joan: What are you talking about? I-I-I'm making friends.
- Sidewalk Vendor God: You have friends.
- Joan: Okay, different friends, okay?
- Sidewalk Vendor God: You mean you're trying to be popular.
- Joan: Same difference.
- Sidewalk Vendor God: Not exactly. Don't miss any more World History. You're just in time for the Crusades.
- Joan: Oh, okay, okay. Like it's really good for me to hear about people butchering people for a hundred years just because they believed in you.
- Sidewalk Vendor God: That's not about faith. That's politics. It's sort of like the difference between friendship and popularity.
- Will: I think I just alienated our daughter for good.
- Helen Girardi: I wouldn't be too hard on myself if I were you. I'm sure me being the school snitch helped a little.
- Will: She's facing stuff we never dreamed of. How's she gonna survive?
- Helen Girardi: She's got a good dad.
- Will: You dropped the case?
- D.A. Gabe Fellowes: Which case is that?
- Will: Brianna Matthews.
- D.A. Gabe Fellowes: Oh, baby in the dumpster, yeah.
- Will: What the hell are you doing?
- D.A. Gabe Fellowes: Well, attempted murder seemed a bit harsh in light of her efforts to inform police about the baby's location, not to mention her age.
- Will: Yes, I'm familiar with the argument. It's my argument, but I think it would be appropriate to charge her with a lesser offense, say child endangerment, if only to get her the help she needs.
- D.A. Gabe Fellowes: Girardi, she's a mixed-up kid. Anybody can see that. What's the point of treating her like a criminal?