Joan of Arcadia (TV Series)

Anonymous (2004)

Amber Tamblyn: Joan Girardi

Quotes 

• Joan Girardi : So, what's for lunch?

  Grace Polk : Creamed chicken.

  Joan Girardi : Ugh, again? Can't the cafeteria make anything else?

• Joan Girardi : Adam's an artist, and Iris is, too. I'm, like, nothing. How can I compete? "Hey, I can color in Ronald McDonald and not go outside the lines." Which, by the way, is a lie.

  Grace Polk : He dumped her for you.

  Joan Girardi : Yeah. Why?

  Grace Polk : Oh, see, this is why I'm not getting sucked into the whole dating ritual. You got what you wanted, and you're more of a mess than you were before.

  [passing by Luke and Glynis] 

  Grace Polk : Luke and the ostrich seem pretty happy, though.

  Joan Girardi : Yeah, that's 'cause they can talk for days about Einstein's hair.

  Grace Polk : I didn't think they would last this long.

  Joan Girardi : Do you care?

  Grace Polk : [scoffing]  Have I ever?

  Joan Girardi : Hey, we're talking about me here, remember?

  Grace Polk : I got bored.

• Library Girl God : Why are you so upset?

  Joan Girardi : I don't know, maybe because the all-knowing one forgot to give me a life.

  Library Girl God : Oh, I've supplied everything you need for a perfect life.

  Joan Girardi : Yeah, just you won't tell me where you hid it.

  Library Girl God : Maybe you're not looking.

  Joan Girardi : Oh, oh, I am looking, okay? Iris has all this stuff in common with Adam, and I have nothing to bring to the party. I mean, I... I want to be good at something. You know, everyone around me has their thing. I-I want a thing.

• Joan Girardi : How'd you know writing would be your thing?

  Kevin Girardi : I didn't. I-I still don't. I... I just tried it. So far, it's working out.

  Joan Girardi : You're lucky.

  Kevin Girardi : Wow. That sounded genuine. You must be depressed.

• Joan Girardi : I need to talk to you.

  Brian Beaumont : I thought I was clear. You cannot take any more photographs.

  [to his staffers] 

  Brian Beaumont : Hey, don't let her have a camera.

  Joan Girardi : No, no, no. I don't want a camera, okay? I just want to help out with the yearbook.

  Brian Beaumont : Why? Your failure is so fresh, I'd be hiding.

  Joan Girardi : Morale boosting is not your thing, is it?

• Brian Beaumont : We need someone to run errands, keep the paper stocked, take out the trash.

  Joan Girardi : That's all you have?

  Brian Beaumont : That's it. Do you know how to work the copy machine?

  Joan Girardi : Press the little button that says "copy"? Yeah.

  Brian Beaumont : Excellent. Why don't you start by taking out all the garbage? You know where to put it?

  Joan Girardi : [more to herself]  Yeah, I know exactly where to put it.

• Garbage Man God : Hey, Joan. Where you off to?

  Joan Girardi : Where do you think I'm off to? Back to get humiliated by a dork with a sweater vest.

  Garbage Man God : What, you're not even gonna look?

  Joan Girardi : Like I'm actually gonan find a bunch of poems in this heap of trash, forget it.

  Garbage Man God : But the search is the whole point.

  Joan Girardi : Digging through the garbage is the point. Are you running a fever?

• Garbage Man God : Do you know the twelve labors of Hercules? A bunch of seemingly pointless tasks that won back his honor. And how 'bout Psyche? When she needed to find her way back to her love, Aphrodite put her to work sorting beans until they were reunited.

  Joan Girardi : Well, I saw "Hercules", but my parents wouldn't let me see "Psycho".

  Garbage Man God : Come on, Joan.

  Joan Girardi : It's disgusting in there.

  Garbage Man God : Searching for something of value is never easy.

  Joan Girardi : You mean one of those poems is actually worth something?

  [as she climbs in and starts to rummage, he turns to leave] 

  Joan Girardi : Hey, you're not even gonna help?

• Joan Girardi : So, I read all the poems, and this one...

  Brian Beaumont : It stinks.

  Joan Girardi : Well, I thought it was fantastic.

  Brian Beaumont : I was being literal.

  Joan Girardi : Oh, right. Well, you leave tuna out in the sun for an hour and it turns into a weapon of mass destruction.

• Garbage Man God : I just wanted to say nice job.

  Joan Girardi : Nice job on what?

  Garbage Man God : Yearbook. You're finished.

  Joan Girardi : How can I be finished? I don't even know what my thing is yet. I mean, isn't that what this was supposed to be about?

  Garbage Man God : Well, maybe for you. I just wanted you to find that poem.

  Joan Girardi : Why? Nobody's ever gonna know who wrote it. Wh-what good does that do?

  Garbage Man God : Do you know who carved the façade of Notre Dame Cathedral? Or the sculptures at-at the Parthenon?

  Joan Girardi : I haven't gotten to that chapter yet.

  Garbage Man God : No one knows. Their names are lost to everyone but me. But does that make their creations any less beautiful?

  Joan Girardi : You know, I-I'd really love to feel like I've been working on Notre Dame, but somehow...

  Garbage Man God : Who you are is enough, Joan. You already have your thing. You're a searcher. You try, and you fail, and you try again.

  Joan Girardi : So my thing is failing? Thanks. That makes me feel a lot better.

  Garbage Man God : Stop hiding who you are.