Steven Eckholdt: Robbie Graham

Quotes 

• Cathy : Since you were so sweet for not honking at me, I want to fix you up with a girl I know.

  Robbie Graham : No thanks.

  Cathy : She's a model who graduated Stanford.

  Robbie Graham : My name's Robbie Graham.

• Robbie Graham : Shrug's family has one of the largest private collections of money in the world.

• Robbie Graham : Let me tell you something, Arthur. You're not going to last two months. You'll last much longer than that. You're gonna be like everyone else, talking about how you hate L.A., like it's a prison camp with five area codes, how the people are so dumb, so plastic, so silicone, how nothing's open late, how you have to drive to take a walk, the houses are ugly, the clothes are loud, the bagels are doughy, the pizza sucks, the murder trials last two years, the marriages last two months. Then you throw in earthquakes, aftershocks, mudslides, road rage, race riots, guns, tasers, pepper spray, and just as your head's about to explode, BOOM! One warm afternoon, you play softball, and you think to yourself, "My God, it's January." Next day you wake up, it's two years later, you've sold out every belief you ever held sacred. And you don't care, because you're living way too happily ever after in a beach house, waiting for your Guatemalan gardener like every other brain-dead Southern Californian.