I'm Alan Partridge (TV Series)

Towering Alan (1997)

Simon Greenall: Michael

Quotes 

• Alan Partridge : That's a nice shirt.

  Michael : Aye, I got married in this. Like it? I got it in Manilla.

  Alan Partridge : I didn't know you were married.

  Michael : Aye. Married a Filipino lassie, like. Didn't work out. She didn't like Newcastle and she didn't fit in with the culture.

  Alan Partridge : Has she gone back home?

  Michael : No, she moved to Sunderland. She's shacked up with me brother.

• [at Alan's farewell party, Michael starts getting into a heated argument with him about the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre] 

  Susan : Er, Michael! Michael! Mr. Partridge is still a guest in this hotel. Now, I think perhaps you've had just a little too bit much to drink and maybe it's time that you should leave.

  Michael : If that's how you all feel...

  [he leaves the room, muttering. Ben and Sophie snigger] 

  Susan : Now, you two can stop giggling.

  Alan Partridge : [to Ben and Sophie]  Don't know what her problem is.

  Susan : I'LL TELL YOU WHAT MY PROBLEM IS! HAVING TO LISTEN TO YOUR CRAP FOR THE LAST SIX MONTHS! YOU'VE BEEN IN THIS HOTEL FOR 182 DAYS, YOU LITTLE SHIT! BEN, SOPHIE, I WANT YOU ON RECEPTION!

  [Ben and Sophie leave] 

  Susan : AND YOU! CHECK OUT IS 12 NOON TOMORROW!

  Alan Partridge : [picking up one of the party bags he's made out of hotel toiletries]  Do you, uh, do you want one of these?

  Susan : A SANITARY BAG? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?

  [she slaps his face and leaves] 

  Alan Partridge : [to Lynn]  I think that went went quite well.

• [at Alan's farewell party in his hotel room] 

  Mike Sampson : I supply fitted kitchens. Funny thing is, I've been in the business for 15 years but I... I can't actually cook!

  [him and Michael laugh] 

  Mike Sampson : [picks up a book from a table]  You see, a cookery book here, it wouldn't be much use to me!

  [him and Michael laugh again] 

  Michael : Mr. Partridge! He said he sells kitchens, right, for 15 year, but he cannet cook!

  Alan Partridge : [has been right in front of them listening the whole time]  I know, I heard him, yeah.

  Michael : Then, right, he sees the cook book and he says "That'd be nae good to me, that, would it?"

  Alan Partridge : I know, I heard him.

  Michael : Oh, come on, lighten up, ya stuffy get!

  Alan Partridge : Lynn, this is terrible. This is terrible.