I'm Alan Partridge (TV Series)

Towering Alan (1997)

Kevin Eldon: Mike Sampson

Quotes 

• [at Alan's farewell party in his hotel room] 

  Mike Sampson : I supply fitted kitchens. Funny thing is, I've been in the business for 15 years but I... I can't actually cook!

  [him and Michael laugh] 

  Mike Sampson : [picks up a book from a table]  You see, a cookery book here, it wouldn't be much use to me!

  [him and Michael laugh again] 

  Michael : Mr. Partridge! He said he sells kitchens, right, for 15 year, but he cannet cook!

  Alan Partridge : [has been right in front of them listening the whole time]  I know, I heard him, yeah.

  Michael : Then, right, he sees the cook book and he says "That'd be nae good to me, that, would it?"

  Alan Partridge : I know, I heard him.

  Michael : Oh, come on, lighten up, ya stuffy get!

  Alan Partridge : Lynn, this is terrible. This is terrible.

• [in the hotel lift, Alan awkwardly stands next to Mike, an odd man who keeps laughing. As they exit the lift, Alan weaves in front of him and makes a racecar noise] 

  Mike Sampson : [laughing]  Oh, it's like "cars", this!

  Alan Partridge : That's right.

  [Alan grimaces as he walks away]