I'm Alan Partridge (TV Series)
To Kill a Mocking Alan (1997)
Ian Sharrock: Jed Maxwell
Photos
Quotes
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[Alan is leaving Jed's house. Jed has turned out to be a psychotically obsessed fan]
Jed Maxwell : See you next week then? We'll have that pint.
Alan Partridge : Yep.
Jed Maxwell : Go see my brother.
Alan Partridge : No way, you big spastic! You're a mentalist!
[Alan speeds off in his car]
Jed Maxwell : Oi! Come back! I'll rip your bloody head off!
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Jed Maxwell : I'm just a fan, Alan, that's all. Your biggest fan. I'll show you something.
[he takes his shirt off to reveal a huge tattoo of Alan's face on his chest and stomach]
Alan Partridge : Glory be!
Jed Maxwell : It took 14 hours! I fainted three times!
Alan Partridge : Jed, I'll level with you. I'm really scared.
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Jed Maxwell : [inside Jed's Alan Partridge shrine] It must be odd being here in a room surrounded by photos of yourself.
Alan Partridge : [has a forced smile] It is a bit, yeah!
Jed Maxwell : I like David Copperfield as well. Not as much as you though.
Alan Partridge : No, no, I can see that, he's losing the battle for wall space, isn't he?
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Jed Maxwell : Tea's up. I'm sorry, we've only got one mug. We don't get a lot of visitors.
[to Aidan]
Jed Maxwell : Well, you're the biggest so you'd better have the mug.
[to Paul]
Jed Maxwell : Er, you'll have to have this milk jug. It's a bit like a mug, only it's got a spout on it. I'll have the coffee jar, and there you go, Alan.
[he hands Alan a small plastic container]
Paul Tool : That's... one of those ball things you have in washing machines.
Jed Maxwell : That's right! It's called an Arielator!
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[inside Jed's Alan Partridge shrine, Jed has got Alan in a headlock after Alan tried to escape]
Jed Maxwell : Can you smell gas?
Alan Partridge : [speaking hoarsely due to Jed's arm being wrapped his neck] I think that's my breath. I ate a scotch egg. I thought it would have broken down by now but I think I'm slightly constipated. It's surprising really, considering the circumstances.
