I'm Alan Partridge (TV Series)

The Talented Mr. Alan (2002)

Simon Greenall: Michael

Quotes 

• Alan Partridge : [points towards a shelf in the petrol station shop]  You're low on bodyline brushable joint sealer.

  Michael : Oh, aye, we are. Captain Partridge, would you look after the fort while I gan on a resupply mission?

  Alan Partridge : You work in a petrol station, Michael. It's not the Gulf War. Which, ironically, is like a large petrol station.

• Lynn Benfield : Alan, there's that teacher chap!

  Alan Partridge : Michael, if he hits me, will you hit him first?

  Michael : No, he's a customer, I cannet hit customers. I've been told. Er, I'll go get some stock.

  [he goes into the back room of the shop] 

  Alan Partridge : Yeah, chicken stock!